Fic: Fixing The Daddies [1/?]

This is the first part of a fill for this prompt t the Glee Kink Meme. "Klaine never got back together . Kurt and Sebastian got married and had a son, Hunter. Brittany makes a time machine and Blaine uses it to go back it time to stop himself from cheating and save his relationship. Hunter finds out about this and has to go back in time to make sure Blaine fails and his parents get together He goes to Sebastian tells him his identity and convinces him that they need to go to New York so Sebastian can win Kurt over."

I hope the OP and everyone else likes it! :)


Hunter was a lot of things. Driven, focused and a natural born leader. But more than that, he was a man on a mission. He was a man on a very important mission. How often do you get to say that you are on a life or death task? But that was what this was about. It was about his own survival. It didn’t take him long to understand that if his dads never met, he would never be born. And there was no way some other guy was more suitable for his daddy Kurt than his dad Sebastian. They were literally perfect for each other. From what he had seen of Blaine Anderson this far, he was afraid that his daddy might get drowned in the amount of hair gel he used. The choice was easy, if not inevitable. He had to make sure that Blaine failed at getting Kurt back, and he has to make sure that his daddies get together afterwards.

That was how he found himself in the year 2012; the year his daddy Kurt started living in New York and his dad Sebastian had his last year of high school at Dalton Academy. He had heard countless stories about their younger years, but it looked as though Hunter would get to see for himself. The stories his dads told him about how much they loathed each other couldn’t really be true, could it? After all, they did end up getting married. It was surely just an exaggeration.

“Hey, Clarington!” Someone called at him. At first Hunter didn’t react to the name. Clarington was merely a name he ripped off a random band poster. He couldn’t just walk into Dalton with Hummel-Smythe as his last name without making heads turn, so he chose an under cover name for his top-secret mission. “Clarington! Hunter, hey!”

Hunter finally turned around, only to find himself inches away from his dad. Or rather, a younger and more arrogant version of him. “Da-… Sebastian,” he greeted with a short nod, his eyes never traveling far from the green eyes that he was so used to seeing.

“Why did you ask the dean to be my roommate?” Sebastian asked, his eyes filled with suspicion that was mirrored in the way his shoulders were rigid and his hands stuffed into his pockets in a stiff stance. It was the same look he had over twenty years later when Hunter came home late without a proper explanation.

“Oh,” Hunter tried his best not to laugh. It was just too weird to see his dad like this and all though he had been in the school for a few weeks, he still wasn’t used to seeing his father as an eighteen year old. “I thought that maybe you could help me out as Warbler captain,” he lied. “You know, since you had the title last year before you messed up. I could need some assistance. I could need a co-captain,” he improvised. Truth be told, he didn’t trust his dad to not mess up his master plan and wanted to keep an eye on him.

“That’s not… Wait. You are making me co-captain?” Sebastian crossed his arms with the same suspicious look, his lips pressed together tightly. “Why? What’s your angle, Clarington?”

“Because,” Hunter smiled back, ignoring the pointed look Sebastian gave him as he slung an arm around his dad’s shoulder, “you got knocked off your high horse last year. People like you and me are not supposed to starve for crumbs on the ground like pigeons, Sebastian. We are meant to shine in the spotlight. We belong there,” he made up his words along the way, spewing whatever bullshit he thought his teenaged dad would like to hear.

It seemed as though Sebastian was finally melting when he got a tiny nod in return. “Fine, you can be my roommate. But I get the gavel.”

That was almost too easy. Now he just had to make his dads fall in love and keep Blaine Anderson away from his daddy Kurt.


The one time Hunter had met Blaine, the boy came across as attention seeking and needy. He was sweet, but he couldn’t imagine his daddy Kurt fall in love with a boy like that. However, after friending Blaine on facebook, he had to witness countless fluffy photos of them kissing and holding hands. It was enough to make him want to through up. Now, Hunter wasn’t one of those people who found overly sweet couples cute in the first place. But seeing his daddy, no matter what age he was, making out with some random guy made him sick in a completely different way.

He tried coaxing Blaine come back to Dalton Academy to keep an eye on him, but things were not working out as planned. It was time to step up his game.

He scrolled through his phone, trying to find the right contact. Even after a weeks in the past, he still wasn’t used to the backwards technology they had. It was a pain in the ass, but he couldn’t risk using anything from the future. It was one of the many strict rules about time travel. Finding Blaine’s number, he hit the dial button.

“Hunter? How did you get my number?”

“It’s on facebook, Blaine Warbler.”

“Anderson, it’s Blaine Anderson,” Blaine sighed.

“How are things going with Kurt?”

“Uh.. Fine? Well, he’s still not talking to me, but I’m keeping my hopes up” Blaine chirped, his voice flat with the undertone of unresolved sadness. “Why are you asking?”

“I was just wondering.. I have.. Uh.. I have a long distance relationship with this girl, so I kinda know just what you are going through,” Hunter lied. It seemed as though he had picked up a new trait. His dads would be so proud. “I just want to make sure that you are fine.”

“That’s really sweet of you, Hunter. I wasn’t aware that you were with someone. Where does she live?”

“Does that really matter? Uh.. She lives in Canada,” he replied hastily. “Yeah, I met her online. So..” he drawled, steering the conversation back to Blaine and Kurt. “Are you sure you are fine?”

“No,” Blaine sighed. Bingo.

Hunter had to keep the joy out of his voice when he replied, “What’s wrong?” He opened the door to his new dorm room where all his stuff had already been moved. The phone placed firmly against his ear, he unlaced his boots and sat down on the soft bed. Sebastian was out somewhere. Hunter only hoped that he wasn’t getting into trouble. Suddenly it felt as though he had to take care of his dad instead of the other way around.

“I cheated on him,” Blaine confided in him, “I went and cheated on him, Hunter. I’m such a terrible person and then I went to see him and confessed it. I have never seen Kurt that heartbroken before.. I broke him, I broke us and it is all my fault,” the boy at the other end of the line sniffed back his tears and Hunter was glad that it was over the phone so that the boy couldn’t see the way he was rolling his eyes. This wasn’t what he signed up for.

“Uh huh.. So why did you cheat?”

“I didn’t mean to. Kurt didn’t answer my calls and it felt like we were drifting apart. I just wanted to feel wanted.. and Eli was just there.. ”

“And how did that make you feel when he ignored you?” Hunter resorted to the oldest trick in the book. Pretending to be a therapist. What else was he supposed to do? Luckily it kept Blaine talking.

It makes me feel.. forgotten. Like I’m not so important to him anymore. Like he doesn’t care about me and I’m just some boy in his past. I mean.. I live in Ohio, Hunter, and he is in New York. Now I’m just some small town boy who is pining after him and it looks like he doesn’t even care!” Blaine’s voice was louder than before and Hunter could hear the pent up disappointment and bitterness behind his words.

Before Hunter could say anything, Blaine continued. “I just.. I have my own problems too and I know that all those problems would be easier to handle if I had Kurt to talk to, you know? He is just so busy and so is everyone else in the New Directions. I just felt so lost and I slept with Eli,” he sighed. “I would change it if I could,” Blaine confessed. Hunter couldn’t help but cover his mouth as he snorted. Blaine would try, and that was why he was here in the first place.

Hunter’s grin grew upon hearing Blaine’s words. “Blaine, don’t you worry for a second. I know that we are not close, but I can help you win Kurt’s affection back. He’ll be in your arms in no time at all, I promise.”

“Why would you do that? We barely even know each other.”

“Because I want to help an old Warbler. Once a Warbler, always a Warbler. And as the new captain, I want to make amends for what the idiot of the old captain did to you,” he almost laughed at the latter. He knew that it was terrible of him to bad-mouth his father like this, but he couldn’t help himself.

“You really don’t need to feel bad for what Sebastian did. It wasn’t your fault,” Blaine said sweetly.

“I know, but.. Well, like I said, I have a long-distance relationship too and I really just want to see things work out between you two,” he said, lining on false sincerity to his voice.

“I.. Thank you, Hunter.”

Jackpot. If he knew that it would be so easy to get Blaine’s trust, he would have done it weeks ago. Now, he just had to keep Blaine away from his daddy Kurt and make his dads fall in love. How hard could it be to make his parents fall in love? Piece of cake, he thought smugly to himself.


For the sake of simplicity, I'm going to post the rest of the chapters in my AO3 or ffnet accounts. (Click on the desired site for the link)

The Way You Hold My Hand [1/?]

Title: The Way You Hold My Hand
Author: Morethantonight 
Pairing: Kurtbastian
Summary: What do you do when the only good thing in life is taken from you? How do you stand up straight when just breathing hurts? Set after Kurt's death where Sebastian remembers old memories, and where he receives letters from Kurt that he wrote before his death to help his husband cope with the loss. Vaguely inspired by the movie 'P.S I Love You'. 

Chapter One - Silence

There is something about silence that can be louder than a marching band, more expressive than a novel and more excruciatingly painful than an open wound. It weasels its way into the waiting mind, expanding and intensifying until it has covered every empty crook. It stretches like a rubber band, further and further, tighter and tighter until it consumes your attention fully. You end up waiting for it to snap, almost hoping that it will. The sardonic part of your mind wants it to break, to tear.

A few seconds can feel like a lifetime.

But what is a lifetime? Sebastian thought that it would be forever, like in those crappy movies where a boy and a girl run towards the sunset as the ending credit rolls down the screen. But in reality, that is not how it works.

Kurt Hummel-Smythe (1994-2022)

Above those words, there was a photo of Kurt smiling back to him. The photo was taken before Kurt got sick, though the memory of how the picture was taken was a little hazy to him.

The silence around him became louder and louder and even the sniffles in the room were drowned out by the embarrassing blaring of no words uttered. Sebastian looked at the crowd in the room. Family, known faces, old friends of Kurt and new friends of them both. All of them were staring at him. Some of the faces were blank, some were sympathetic and some were expectant. It was the latter that ticked him off, as though they were waiting for him to say something magnificent. Of course, he knew what his role was. The part he was meant to play. The young widowed with his whole life in front of him. He was supposed to make a heart wrenching speech about how much he would miss Kurt and how much Kurt meant to him. Fuck them all, Sebastian thought to himself. There was something so sick about the thought that they were all judging him, expecting him to feel a certain way. They were expecting him to tear their hearts open one more time. Expecting him to pour his heart out to the microphone as though his memories were cheap and worthless.

Said microphone squeaked when he let out a sharp breath, effectively killing the silence in the room.

All eyes were on him and he just knew they were all waiting for him to break down, shed a tear or ten and utter series of sobbing sounds as he tried to squeeze out the last words he would ever say in the presence of Kurt. Fuck them all. This wasn’t Kurt. It wasn’t Kurt who was inside that beautifully decorated wooden box in white. It wasn’t his Kurt who was there, cold as the night and lifeless as a stone. His Kurt was the smile that shone like the east sun, the laughter that sounded his a myriad of stars, and the intense gaze that could make the moon whither. Beautiful. Vibrant. Alive.

The sound of his breathing was echoed in the microphone and he became aware of his own silence. He had tried preparing a speech, but every time the pencil scratched against the rough paper, he had stopped. How do you write in words how much a person means to you? How do you constrict longing and sorrow into mere syllables? He gave up.

“Kurt…” Sebastian started, his voice feeling strangely detached and void of emotions. If people were looking at him before, they were staring at him now. His mother on the front row sent him a watery, sympathetic smile. As though he needed their sympathy. He didn’t.

“There are a lot of things I could have said about Kurt, but no matter what I say, you will never understand the way I looked-.. The way I look at Kurt. There is no way to understand Kurt lest you experience him for yourself.”

His voice was shaky, his fingers clinging on to the microphone stand to have something to hold on to. His palms were sweaty and it felt as though he hadn’t slept in a year. One year. That was all he had.

“The world lost something. I lost everything,” he murmured, his throat feeling like sandpaper. He couldn’t go on like this, or he would definitely break down. Somewhere in the back, he heard a woman break into sobs, but he didn’t bother to see who it was. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered anymore.

“Kurt.. I love you,” he whispered, pulling away from the microphone as he slowly made way to the white coffin and placed the single white rose he had on the lid. Kurt had always hated red roses, whining about how awfully mainstream they were. But he liked the white ones and Sebastian always made a point out of buying him white flowers, teasing him about how he actually looked tanned when compared to the white roses.

He chose to have a close casket event, even though some of their friends protested. They wanted to see Kurt one last time. He never wanted to remember his husband for anything else than the time he was alive.


Playing the part of the mourning, yet inconspicuous husband came naturally to Sebastian who preferred to hover in the background rather than snag attention the way some of Kurt’s old friends did. He didn’t blame them. Everyone had their own way of coping and Rachel’s was to drink a glass too many at the wake and talk loudly about how much Kurt meant to her. Sebastian’s coping mechanism was the nurse a glass of whiskey on a sofa in the corner of the room. Occasionally he was forced to make eye contact with people, but mostly they didn’t disturb him. Mostly.

“Will you be okay, Bas?” he heard a familiar voice behind him. He closed his eyes for a few seconds, clenching them as tight as they would go. The last time he heard that nickname was from Kurt’s lips.

“I’ll live, Maman. He won’t,” he muttered bitterly as he put down his glass after taking a large gulp. The whiskey burned in his throat, spreading warmth through his body. Maybe he should become an alcoholic. That would have been a nice career. Quit his job and just drink away all the insurance money. Maybe die from liver failure in a few years.

The couch shifted slightly as his mother sat down beside him, so close that he felt like suffocating. He could smell the sweet wine on her breath, more prominent than usual. It was funny how people had their own ways of coping.

It seemed as though his mother didn’t know what to say. Yet again, he couldn’t blame her. What do you tell your son who had just become widowed? But that was the problem, wasn’t it? It was no one’s fault. No one could be blamed.

At first Sebastian was angry. He was angry at the doctor who delivered the news, mad at himself for not even discovering that Kurt was sick before it was too late, angry at Kurt for not being more angry, furious with the surgeons for not being able to cure his husband. Hot, blinding rage was all he could remember. In retrospect, he wished he had used more time savouring the time he had left with Kurt. But in the end everything was meaningless, wasn’t it?

With an amber glass in his hand and the smell of soil fresh on his suit from burying his husband’s coffin, everything seemed meaningless.

“I know that it doesn’t seem that way, Bastian, but one day it won’t hurt that much anymore.”

Sebastian turned to the side to face his mother. He was tired. He felt so fatigued that he couldn’t muster the energy or the willpower to glare at her. To yell that it would never go away. How could something that felt so all-consuming ever go away? The memory of Kurt wasn’t like a painting on the wall that would eventually fade away. Or maybe it would. Sebastian didn’t know what was worse. To live with the pain of remembering or the guilt of forgetting.

“..Before you bite my head off, I want to let you know that Kurt wanted me to tell you that.”

“Kurt.. told you..?” Sebastian asked in confusion. As far as he knew, his husband and Cecile Smythe were cordial and friendly at the best, but long distance calls to Paris were expensive and they only ever talked during Christmas or Sebastian’s birthday.

Mrs. Smythe nodded, a look of sympathy filling her eyes as she took hold of Sebastian’s hand and squeezed it. Sebastian didn’t have the energy to pull away.

“He wrote to me.”

It was much too soon. Sebastian didn’t want to hear what Kurt had told his mother, he didn’t want to know what he wrote to her before he died. Right now he just wanted to sit on this couch, drink his whiskey and mourn his loss the way he knew how to; by acting invisible.

His lack of words must have been an indicator enough, for his mother left him alone the way he wanted to be. He had no idea how much time had passed. It could have been minutes, it could have been hours. He only noticed that any time had passed at all when he tried to take another gulp of whiskey, but instead his lips scratched against the empty, smooth glass where a single amber drop snaked its way into his waiting mouth.

"How are you doing, Sebastian?" 

Sebastian looked up. "Blaine," he whispered, his voice cracking halfway.

He hadn’t seen Blaine since before it happened. He still couldn't say it. He couldn't even think it, the thought so paralyzing and scary. As though it would be more real when he started thinking it. As though the memory of Kurt would fade away. But sooner or later he would have to face reality. Maybe later, but just not now. 

Blaine didn't need an answer. It wasn't a question he wanted answered either. He knew his best friend; he knew what it was like for him. "I'm sorry," Blaine whispered, hugging Sebastian tightly. 

Sebastian buried his head in Blaine's shoulder, the familiar feeling of his loose curls tickling his cheek more comforting than anything else around him. No one knew Kurt the way Blaine did. No one else had the same connection they did and all though Blaine didn't know Kurt the way Sebastian did, but it was the closest he could get. All the hours they spent on the couch cuddled together, the drinking nights together where Kurt and Sebastian would try to hook Blaine up with a boy. All those rainy Sundays spent inside playing scrabble together. Those things they did as three best friends and not just KurtandSebastian and Kurt's ex-boyfriend Blaine. 

"I know you are," Sebastian whispered, his voice tight from being on the verge of tears. "That's the worst fucking thing. You are one if the few people who actually mean it when you say it," his voice broke and Sebastian cleared his throat. "They don't get it, Blaine. They don't get how much I love him. Th-They don't see what we had.. Most of them still remember me as that high school idiot I was.." 

Blaine's hands stroke his back slowly, sighing as he did. As warm and comforting as the silent reassurance was, it wasn't Kurt. Kurt would have known what to say to make him feel better. Yes, Blaine understood him better than anyone else, but he didn't fill the massive void that Kurt left behind. 

"Will you be alright?" Blaine asked, planting a friendly kiss to his forehead. 

"I don't know, B. I don't know. He was always here for me, you know?" 

"I know, Seb, I know,"


Despite the multiple prompts from his mother to spend the night at the hotel she was staying at and Blaine’s offers to stay at his place so that he didn’t have to be alone, Sebastian still went back to their apartment. Their apartment. It was still on both their names, Sebastian Hummel-Smythe and Kurt Hummel-Smythe, as a joined entirety, a single species.

It was only when he locked the door behind him and saw the apartment that looked the way it always did that it hit him. Kurt wasn’t there anymore. The toothbrush in the bathroom, that he hadn’t removed even though Kurt had been staying at the hospital for the past few weeks, was still there. Kurt’s clothes still hung in their closet. On the dining room table he could see Kurt’s sketches of the new designs he was working on. And right there, standing alone, he felt waves of memories hit him in a furious way, as though they were demanding to be remembered.

“Sebastian! Put me down!” Kurt giggled, but he didn’t do anything to resist his boyfriend from pinning him to the wall of their new apartment. The hardwood floor was filled with boxes and the faded yellow walls were empty. It could have been anyone’s apartment that they randomly tumbled into, but it was their own. Their first apartment together. Their first proper commitment to each other. Kurt felt his skin tingle with the realization that this was it. This was their future together and what little fear he had of losing Sebastian was slowly trickling away. It wasn’t replaced with the cold feeling of taking their relationship for granted, but rather the security that they would last.

“What is the fun in that, Princess? I thought the whole point of buying a place for us was so that I can christen every surface of the apartment by fucking you senseless,” Sebastian laughed, his lips grazing over the soft skin of Kurt’s neck. He could feel Kurt breathing, he could feel the tiny vibrations of his skin when he inhaled and it was as though time stood still around them. It didn’t really matter that it was late and that they both had classes to go to the next day. They were in college; they could afford to skip once or twice.

The had been together for one year and during that time Sebastian had come to know Kurt’s body almost as well as his own, but it wasn’t enough. It didn’t feel like it would ever be enough.

He could never get tired of that little whimper he elicited from Kurt when he bit down on his neck, never get tired of that shiver he got when he let his cold hands run over Kurt’s bare chest. Within seconds, Kurt’s clothes were on the floor, save for his cerulean boxer briefs.

“Are you going to fuck me, Bas?” Kurt asked with a coy smile playing on his lips, the very existence of it teasing Sebastian, urging to give him more. “No,” Sebastian replied, dragging his tongue over the bite mark on Kurt’s neck that was getting clearer and clearer by the second. It was worth it just to see Kurt’s eyebrows arch, as though he was daring Sebastian to refuse to give him something he wanted.

Sebastian chortled and sunk down to his knees, his nose merely inches away from Kurt’s crotch. His boxer clad erection twitched to Sebastian’s delight. “I’m going to do something so much more fun than that.”

Without further warning, Sebastian pulled down Kurt’s cotton boxers and licked up his shaft, causing Kurt to shudder against him. “Bas..” he whispered, grabbing a fistful of Sebastian’s hair to guide him towards his cock again, afraid that Sebastian would leave him hanging.

“So impatient,” Sebastian chastised and licked his lips slowly to wet them exaggeratedly. Kurt could see the glint of wet spit of Sebastian’s lips, letting him know what was to come. Or rather who was to come.

“Shut up and blow me,” he breathed, his voice deep from lust as his fingers carded through Sebastian’s hair, gently coaxing him to give him what he wanted.

“Your wish is my c-..” Sebastian was cut short by Kurt forcing his lips back to his attention seeking cock. Chuckling as he obliged, he wrapped his pliant lips around Kurt’s flushed erection and slid all the way down to the base. The best part about giving head was being able to gauge Kurt’s reaction, to be able to decipher every single moan, to dip into and relish every tremble in his body. It was almost too easy for forget his own cock that was straining against his dark wash jeans, or the fact that Kurt was entirely naked while he was still wearing clothes.

He could feel Kurt tense when he started to bob his head up and down in a torturously slow pace. Moaning when his boyfriend roughly pulled his hair to make him go faster, he gave into the mesmerising routine of bouncing his head up and down Kurt’s shaft, rolling his tongue over Kurt’s sensitive head and flicking it to get just the right moans from him. He could tell that his boyfriend was close just from how tense he was and how hard he was gripping his hair. “Bas.. Oh god.. I’m close..” Kurt whined, as though Sebastian needed a warning, but he didn’t realise how well Sebastian knew him.

Reaching his fingers to tease Kurt’s balls, Sebastian sucked even harder, moaning obscenely. At some point – he wasn’t quite sure when – he gave up control and just let Kurt fuck his throat like an instrument. Relaxing his throat as much as he could, he let Kurt lose himself in throws of passion and unintelligible moans. It didn’t matter. He trusted him enough to give up control. All Sebastian could think of was the way Kurt looked, his hair messy, his skin flushed and his bottom lip marked from biting too hard. Kurt’s eyes were shut close in concentration and his lips were barely parted, easing out his laboured breath. Sebastian could feel Kurt’s heart beat on his skin, he could feel his boyfriend’s desperation as his mouth was used in the most delicious of ways. He felt light-headed, elated and more than turned on, but when he heard Kurt’s heart skip a beat just before he came in spurts into his mouth, he couldn’t help but moan loudly around Kurt’s cock and lap up every single drop as though it was ambrosia while Kurt stroke his hair. Kurt slumped tiredly against the wall, his chest rising and falling rapidly. “Love you, Bas..”

“You are not too bad yourself, Princess,” Sebastian chuckled, and when he looked up at his boyfriend, he saw a glimpse of their future together – a future he found himself desperately wanting. A well furnished apartment in the heart of the city, the domestic life while eating Chinese food on the couch, falling asleep to this man in his arms every single night… He wanted it all.

Sebastian pulled himself out of the memory and slumped down on the couch. The silence was deafening, even though he could hear the sound of cars and traffic. When was silence such a problem for him? The couch was too big, too empty and he didn’t even feel the ghost of a presence there. Just nothing. Emptiness.

To drive it away, he flopped his legs up and lay down horizontally as he looked at the ceiling. It was once a faded yellow, but Kurt painted all the walls off-white. Or vanilla or cream, or whatever Kurt called it. He wasn’t so sure. In retrospect he wished that he had paid attention to the little things Kurt said that he didn’t understand at that time. There was so much he didn’t understand. So much that made him feel insignificant and small.

Unable to handle the silence anymore, he turned on the TV. He wasn’t planning on sleeping tonight. He had no idea how to sleep in their bed without Kurt, but most of all he had no idea what to do now. The entire previous year he had spent doing everything and anything with Kurt, savouring every single moment they had left together. The last months he spent desperately searching for a cure to at least speed down the tumour. The last week he spent saying goodbye. There was always something at the end of the day. Something that he knew that would come. Even after Kurt’s death, there was the funeral that he had to organise. But now, there was nothing. Nothing in the horizon and nothing for him to do. Emptiness. Silence.

After a few hours he wasn’t any smarter. He still didn’t have a plan, but he drowsed into a restless sleep with a soap opera playing in the background.  

A/N: Thank you for reading the first chapter. This is mainly the background for the story and Sebastian will get the first letter in the next chapter. Let me know what you think :) Nervous as usual, oops. 

Grant/Chris fic where Brian Colfer cockblocks

AN: So, I have no idea where this came from but I've been struggling with writer's block lately and I wanted to write some Grant/Chris smut, but then Brian popped into my mind and cockblocked. Oops. Mostly fluff and some frustration.

”Colfer, your cat is looking at us,” Grant broke their kiss impatiently and sent the cat a worried look through the semi-dark room that was illuminated by the single lamp on Chris’ nightstand.

Chris chuckled and swatting it away without further thought. “Brian gets territorial of me sometimes. Don’t worry about it,” he assured him and slid his hands up Grant’s abs, feeling him through the rough fabric of his shirt. Ever since he saw Grant’s new movie, he couldn’t wait to get his hands on the man again, knowing that some other girl had her hands all over his bare chest.

But even though Chris was trying to get Grant’s shirt off, the taller man’s eyes were fixed on the cat. “Babe, it is a little unnerving that he is watching us. Can’t you just put him in another room for tonight?”

“But he sleeps here, Grant. This is his room,” Chris protested, his nature of being a little too attached to the cat showing. Letting the cat sit on his computer, his lap and even on his head was one thing, but Grant just couldn’t have those yellow eyes watching him. Judging him, his mind corrected for him, and it didn’t help that cats had better eyesight in the dark than humans. He’ll be damned before a cat sees his junk.

“Yeah, but it’s not like I let Jett sleep in our bed with us when you come over,” Grant replied, getting off the bed to open the door. Brian still didn’t budge from his cat bed and was watching Chris, as though he was really to pounce to save Chris’ virtue if it was needed. “C’mon, Brian. Let Chris and I have some alone time. Go, boy,” he cooed in a kind voice, crouching down with his shirt open. Chris tilted his head to the side with an amused smile. Brian was one of the most stubborn forms of life he had ever seen. Maybe that was why he liked him so much. They were more alike that people knew.

“Brian,” Grant started to become impatient. He didn’t get to see Chris often, what with Chris’ crazy Glee schedule, book matters and the new book and movie scripts he was writing. It was as though the man could just give and give with no end in sight. But he knew that Chris need his relaxation time with him and he was going to give him that. If only the cat would move.

In the end Grant carried an angry, hissing Brian in his arms and dumped him on the sofa. As much as he loved animals, he would love to just be able to blow Chris without having to worry about a cat attacking him with claws in his back. That would be fun to explain to his manager.

With the door to Chris’ bedroom firmly closed, he sent the man on the bed a toothy smile, only to find Chris already in his boxers, waiting for him. Grant’s eyes trailed up the milky smooth skin that he was explicitly forbidden to mark, no matter how badly he ached to do so. Chris was all for controlled danger and rough sex. His make-up artist? Not so much.

“Fucking hell, Colfer,” he murmured, shrugged his unbuttoned shirt off his shoulders and all but pounced on the beautiful man. “You are so fucking hot..” he murmured against the flawless skin of Chris’ neck, eliciting a soft moan from the man underneath him. “Get these off,” Chris urged, tugging at Grant’s jeans and pulled them off. Just as he slipped his fingers beneath the waistband of his boxers to caress the sun-kissed skin that he was all too familiar with, they heard a scratching at the door followed by a sad meow. Meow. More scratching. Meow.

“Oh my god, it’s Brian!” Chris sat up with a worried frown. His poor baby probably missed his bed and his daddy. Beside him, Grant groaned in frustration. He really wasn’t going to get laid tonight, was he?

“He’s fine.. Just ignore him and he’ll go away,” Grant murmured, tilted Chris’ face to kiss him, but they both knew that there was no point when they could still hear the sounds from the other side of the door.

Groaning, Grant got up one more time before muttering to himself, “I swear to god, you love the cat more than you love me..”

He opened the door for the cat and Grant could swear that the fucking cat looked smug. It jumped on the bed and curled up by Chris’ belly with that self-satisfied smirk that could even contest Grant’s portrayal of Sebastian Smythe.

“We should probably sleep anyway,” Grant murmured, spooning Kurt from behind. He wrapped the comforter around them both, thinking ‘and none for Brian Colfer.’

“Sleep is for the weak,” Chris hummed, lacing their hands together as he craned his head to look at Grant with a small smile playing on his lips. “Do the weak also buy full size Lady GaGa posters in their sleep?” Grant teased, his lips brushing softly over Chris’ temple. “You know I never sleep! I’m like a robot. I’m supernatural” he protested, but how was Chris supposed to pretend to be mad when he could feel Grant’s lips on his skin, spreading warmth through his body in a way no amount of mind-blowing sex could.

“Go to sleep, Colfer.”

“Why do you insist on calling me that?” Chris mused for a thousandth time, hoping that he would get an answer at least this time.

“I’ll tell you someday,” Grant chuckled and pulled him closer.

“Goodnight, Thomas” Christ shot back teasingly. The last thing he heard before he fell asleep was Grant’s groan and Brian’s soft purring. 

The Boys of Summer [7/7]: The Camera

Title: The Boys of Summer
Author: MoreThanTonight
Fandom: Glee
Paring: Kurt/Sebastian
Summary: A camera. A jacket pin. A phone. Lemon balm leaves. A bottle cap. A box of condoms. A bottle of sleeping pills. Not necessarily in that order. On one of the last days of summer before college, Sebastian thinks about the most eventful summer of his life and the items related to it. Each one of the seven items tells a story about two boys that summer and how they came closer. It is a story about friendship, love and overcoming obstacles.

AN: Thank you, Maria, for bearing over with my craziness. Thank you to all of you who have read this and who have motivated me. With this chapter, I have finally finished my first multi-chapter fic and my first Kurtbastian fic ever. I wish I could write something heartfelt, but I'll cry. I hope you like it. 

Sebastian’s heart beat faster and faster, the thumping almost painful as it throbbed against his chest, trying to get free. His fingers wrapped around the edge of the polished surface of the table, his nails digging into the hard wood. He wondered how much this table could hold. It was already carrying the seven objects that felt closest to his heart. The objects that felt like a burden, like they weighed a thousand pounds. Maybe it could hold the rest of him too.

With his hands firmly placed on either side of the wooden desk, he leant his body weight on the table little by little, putting more pressure on it by lifting his body from the ground. He pushed and pushed, slowly hearing the table creak as he was on the tip of his toes and he just couldn’t push anymore. He couldn’t put any more pressure on it. He thought maybe it would make him feel less heavy, that somehow it would lift the burden off his shoulders. Somehow he thought that he could unload everything he had and just place it on the table, on something unanimated. So why wasn’t the aching going away? Why did it feel as though someone had encased his chest in heavy lead, pulling it towards the ground with the emphasized force of gravity?

There was one object left on the table that he hadn’t touched yet. He saved the worst for the last. It would hurt less that way, he told himself. But he was at the end of the story and there was nothing left between him and the camera. No more excuses. The drumming of his heart was deafeningly loud. He could hear it inside his ear, in the back of his mind, in the front of his conscience. It was getting louder by the second and his mind was screaming to him to get away. To leave the objects and to save what was left of his tattered heart. But every story needs an ending, and he had to relieve the ending of what would be the chapter of Kurt Hummel in the Life of Sebastian Smythe.

The camera. There was a slight tremble in his fingers, his fingers that usually were self-confident and steadfast. He expected the camera to scorch his skin, but it didn’t. Instead, the black plastic felt cool against his shaky fingertips.

It was a normal camera, the type that everyone had seen before. A single-lens reflex camera from Canon in black with a large lens in the middle. The all-seeing eye. The beautiful thing about cameras was that they never lied unless the person in control of it tampers with the settings. They captured the moment in the truest possible light, whether it was unflattering or the reincarnation of beauty.

The last days Sebastian had with Kurt, he remembered the camera and decided to take photos. It was something he did for fun and mostly it was to tease Kurt whom was a lot more self-conscious than he should be. He brought the camera with him wherever they went, either around his neck like a Japanese tourist or in his messenger bag.

Sebastian’s eyes skimmed through the other objects. The bottle top, the jacket pin, the lemon balm leaves, the box of sleeping pills, the phone, the condoms and finally the camera. He picked the latter object up gingerly and weighed it in his hands. The camera itself didn’t weight that much, but it were the pictures inside that felt heavy.

He sat down on the edge of the bed, feeling the mattress sink a little. The springs groaned almost inaudibly when he slumped back, his head hitting the sheets. Flicking the power switch on, he took a deep breath as he waited for the first picture to appear.

The first one was from the one time they were at the beach.

Waves crashed in the background with the familiar sound of water hitting the soft sand before retreating back into the sea. Again and again. The repetitive echo was something everyone took for granted. It was just there, convenient and assuring. Sebastian’s focus was someplace more interesting. His eyes raked over Kurt’s frame as he sat cross-legged on the sand. His shoes were off and the sand was tickling his bare feet. It almost felt like he was a child again.

Kurt kicked off his shoes and socks and ran towards the water. Somewhere along the way, he discarded his shirt and jeans as well. Sebastian couldn’t help but compare him to the boy he first met at the Lima Bean, a time and place that felt forever ago.

This Kurt, his Kurt, as Sebastian referred to him in his mind lived in another universe than the one he knew before. The Kurt before, Blaine’s Kurt, as Sebastian called him would never have been so careless – or carefree. He would never have thrown his clothes on the sand and ran towards the water in only his forest green boxers.

It was the happiest Sebastian had ever seen him. He took out the camera and snapped a picture.

The small screen showed a boy who was running towards the water, unaware that a still frame of him was being saved on a camera for years to come. Sebastian smiled at the picture. He wasn’t an expert photographer or anything, but he had a feeling that any snapshot of Kurt would come out as breathtakingly beautiful. Some people just had that ability – he knew that he himself was one of them – and Kurt was no exception.

He raised the camera to eye-length and took another shot. This time Kurt was waist-length in the water, his wet shoulders gleaming in the sunlight as his hair clung to his forehead, dripping water. He looked happy, so unlike the boy he met in the bar the night Kurt re-entered his life. From what Kurt could see, the dark shadow that resided on his shoulders had vanished, there was no longer frightening pain in his eyes and there was once again life in his words. Huh. Maybe his influence had actually been good on Kurt.

“Bas,” Kurt called to him and Sebastian fought the urge to smile at the nickname Kurt had grown so fond of using.

“The water is really warm. You should come and see for yourself,” he tempted with a hesitant smile and Sebastian didn’t have to be told twice. He stored the camera away in his bag and stripped to his boxers before following Kurt in the water.

The second photo makes Sebastian’s heart ache. Not for him, but for Kurt. Sebastian has never been in a relationship before, so he had no idea what it felt like to have someone break up with you, but he couldn’t stop himself from feeling the phantom pains in heart. It was as though someone had clenched his heart and squeezed it painfully.

The photo showed a boy in a half-dark room, only illuminated by a single lamp on the wall. The boy was leaned away from the camera with his back towards the photographer. The picture captured the shirtless boy from waist and up, his chestnut brown hair was tousled and bore evidence of sex.

The lack of lighting gave the photo a gritty look, but he could clearly decipher that Kurt was talking on the phone with his shoulders hunched. He could barely see the side of Kurt’s face, but something resembling a tear glistened on his cheek. If he didn’t know that it would be there, he wouldn’t have seen it.

He didn’t know what possessed him to take a picture in a moment like that. Maybe it was the utter helplessness he felt that moment that urged him to do something. Maybe it was how Kurt looked, like a fallen angel, that made him want to keep that image in his mind forever. No matter what the reason was, the picture he took brought back a wave of memories.

They were lying on Sebastian’s bed as they rarely were at Kurt’s place. Sebastian was there once, the only time the house was empty, but Sebastian’s house was just more convenient for both of them.

Kurt was panting hard against Sebastian’s chest and he could feel the other boy’s heart pounding, as they lay pressed against each other on the bed. Their skin was shiny with sweat and Sebastian was trying to keep his breathing under control. A drop of sweat trickled down his forehead and onto the pillow. The bed was hot and he felt the need to roll over to the cool floor, but it was so comfortable to lay there with Kurt’s back again his chest and his arm around his pale waist. The covers were kicked to the side, so Sebastian could see all of Kurt’s body. He often got the chance to see Kurt naked, but those times he was usually quite distracted.

He had often noticed how beautiful Kurt was, but never like this. He used to think that Kurt was attractive and good-looking enough, but now it was as though other boys turned to ash when compared to the reincarnation of Adonis in front of him. The realisation puzzled him, and Sebastian assumed that everything would be soon to normal once he got to New York and meet other guys. There were probably guys there who were hotter and sexier than both him and Kurt put together, and he couldn’t wait to start a new life there.

Or could he?

Would it really be that bad, to have this for a little while longer, he found himself thinking as his hand lifted to brush away a loose strand of hair from Kurt’s forehead.

Kurt made a soft appreciative noise and Sebastian couldn’t help but smile, his lips curving up in approval. Kurt’s eyes were shut close and he could have been asleep if it wasn’t for the chest that heaved and sunk rapidly. They were still catching their breath after the last round, but they allowed themselves to bask in the afterglow of their orgasms. It was quiet, serene and relaxing, and Sebastian’s eyes slowly slipped close in a blissful daze.

Suddenly a ring tone started to play. It was a bad quality phone recording, but the song was unmistakeable. It’s not unusual to be loved by anyone. It’s not unusual to have fun with anyone. But when I see you hanging about with anyone, it’s not unusual to see me cry. Oh, I wanna die. Blaine’s voice rang through the room and before Sebastian’s could react, Kurt slapped his arm away and jumped out of bed.

Kurt wasn’t wearing anything, but the boy didn’t seem to care. Another difference from the boy Sebastian met at the bar, he noticed silently.

“Shit, it’s Blaine,” Kurt said to no one in particular as he fished the phone out of his pants pocket. It was evident that he didn’t know what to do. He just held the phone in his hand and stared at the screen where his ex-boyfriend’s name was. “I knew I should have changed his ring tone, but.. I didn’t think he would call.. Oh god, I should have deleted his number completely,” he rambled on as the ring tone continued to play as Blaine’s voice echoed between the walls. It’s not unusual to go out at any time. But when I see you out and about, it’s such a crime. If you should ever wanna be loved by anyone. It’s not usual – it happens everyday, no matter what you say. You find it happens all the time. Love will never- The ring tone got cut off as the phone stopped ringing.

Kurt looked relieved as he held the phone firmly in his hand. He was just about to put it away when it started ringing again, with the same song. Kurt groaned in frustration while Sebastian smirked amusedly. “Do you want me to get it for you?” he asked and Kurt shot him a look that was somewhere between disapproval and murderous rage. “No,” he snapped, taking a deep breath before he answered the phone.

Kurt’s voice was shaky and uneven, but somehow he managed to press out the words.

“H-Hey, it’s Kurt”

Sebastian couldn’t hear Blaine on the other line, but it was easy to guess what was being said.

“I’m.. Fine, I guess. How are you?”, Kurt asked and he detected the voice as Kurt’s polite voice.

“That’s.. good. I’m glad you hear that, Blaine. What? Oh.. I’m at Westerville,” he answered, biting down his lip. Kurt’s brows knitted together, upset over something.

“I’m at.. a friend’s place. Why are you asking?”

Seeing Kurt like this when he was not talking to him, but someone else made Sebastian observe more. He could only hear one side of the conversation, so he found himself noticing Kurt’s reactions more to understand the conversation better.

“What is it to you who I am with?” Kurt suddenly snapped with a force and fierceness he didn’t have before.

“I’m with Sebastian. Happy?”

“What? Blaine.. What are you saying? Do you..”

Sebastian frowned and tried to understand, but it felt as though he was missing something. Kurt was turned away from him, but he could still see his facial expressions and Kurt looked just as confused as he did.

“Coffee, I see. Why?” his tone was hard again and Kurt was squinting.

“You want to… Blaine.. What? Why? Why now?”

Kurt fell silent for a while and it seemed as though Blaine was holding a long monologue. The seconds ticked away and the silence was becoming unnerving, so Sebastian reached for the camera on his nightstand. He looked through the camera and deleted a few photos when Kurt spoke again.

“You.. want to get back together?” His voice was soft and fragile, as though it might break any moment. Sebastian wanted to reach forward and comfort it, offer it honey and nurse it back to strength.

Slowly Kurt’s words started to make sense to him. Blaine wanted him back. An unexplainable dread filled his mind and he found his fist clenching by itself. His mind was growling silently, telling him how Blaine doesn’t deserve a new chance with Kurt. No, it was all wrong. Kurt couldn’t take him back. Kurt wouldn’t. Would he?

Sebastian’s gaze hardened as he saw a single tear make its way down Kurt’s cheek and his eyelashes glistened with unshed tears. “Don’t do this to me..” he heard Kurt’s broken voice say.

The image in front of Sebastian was so breathtakingly beautiful but yet heartbreaking. Kurt’s face scrunched slightly and he noticed to lines appear on each side of the tiny nose. There were frown lines on his forehead, giving the image depth and emotion. Sebastian couldn’t help himself. He raised the camera up and snapped a photo.

It all happened silently and when Kurt turned to look at him with eyes gleaming from the heartbreak he was feeling, the camera was gone. No one will ever know about that photo in Sebastian’s camera.

Kurt noticed Sebastian watching and turned his back to him completely. Sebastian couldn’t see his face anymore, but he heard a broken noise from the back of Kurt’s throat. His heart twang at the sound and it felt as though someone was squeezing his chest painfully. If he could just reach forward and hold the other boy. But he had a feeling that Kurt wouldn’t want him to interfere.

“Blaine. I’m going to New York and you are staying in Lima. It’s like you said.. It won’t work,” Kurt said with a newfound resolution in his voice and Sebastian’s stomach fluttered in happiness. He wasn’t taking Blaine back.

“Bye, Blaine” Kurt sighed and abruptly ended the call. For a few seconds neither of them reacted. The silence was like a rubber band, stretching and stretching and they were both waiting for it to snap. Unsurprisingly, Kurt was the first one to break.

He tried to stifle the sob with the back of his palm, but Sebastian heard it all the same. Kurt’s shoulders were hunched, his back was loaded with pressure and his head hung down as tears streamed down his face. Sebastian had seen a lot of people cry before, but seldom did it affect him this much. The only other time he had felt like this was when his mother cried. It was an uncomfortable feeling that he couldn’t quite place. He wasn’t sad himself, but he was sad for Kurt. In other words, he was sad because Kurt was sad? It didn’t make much sense to him, but when did feelings ever make sense?

“Hey.. Are you okay?” Sebastian asked, clearing his voice so that it would be void of any embarrassing emotion, but it ended up sounding scruffy and coarse, as though he was trying to talk in a deeper voice.

Kurt looked up, his eyes red-rimmed and glinting in the light from moisture. For a second it seemed as though he had forgotten that Sebastian was there. Everything that mattered was his phone call with Blaine.

“I’m fine..” he muttered, furiously wiping his tears away with the hem of his sleeve.

“You are obviously not fine,” Sebastian sighed warily and got up. He went over to Kurt and stood in front of him, his height even more prominent as he stood in front of a sitting Kurt.

“I am!” Kurt argued, thought without conviction.


“Seb, I don’t want to talk about it,” he snapped, crossing his arms.

Sebastian looked at the boy for a few seconds, determining whether he should push it further or not, before his stern posture slackened and he sat down beside the pale boy.

“Blaine’s a dick, ‘kay?” Sebastian tried.

“No, he is not.”

“To me he is.”

“To me he is and always will be my first love. Whom I just burnt all bridges to right now,” Kurt’s voice wavered as a fresh wave of tears tried to break free.

“Kurt.. He broke up with you,” Sebastian tried to reason.

“It doesn’t matter,” Kurt furiously wiped away his tears again.

“Nothing matters. Blaine is gone and soon I will be gone from this stupid town and in a few years nothing of this will even matter,” Kurt said with a newfound fervour.

Sebastian didn’t know why, but Kurt’s words stung him physically. He recoiled mentally as though he was on the receiving end of a slap. Kurt didn’t really care about him. All he cared about was getting to New York and forgetting Lima, and that included him. He had to remind himself that it was good. When he went to New York, he didn’t want gay-face Hummel weighing him down either.

“Whatever, Hummel. Just don’t go crying on me like a little girl,” Sebastian snapped.

Kurt’s face fell.

“I’m not crying”

“Mhm, and those droplet of water that were conveniently placed on your cheeks were just raindrops that managed to jump through the closed window,” Sebastian rolled his eyes. This was getting sillier by the second, but the worst thing was the aching in his chest. Maybe there was something wrong with him. Cancer or something. That had to be it.

“It’s none of your business,” Kurt snarled back. On the plus side it looked as though he wasn’t sad more. The sadness in his eyes was replaced with irritation.

Sebastian shrugged. “You are right. It is not my business. It’s not like I care.”

Kurt stared pointedly at him and Sebastian felt the hair on his arms start to prickle. It was as though Kurt could see right though him, see his lies and the mask he was wearing. How fast did cancer usually spread? He had to have one of those fast-spreading types that left him dead within days.

“But you do care, don’t you?” Kurt’s lips curled up almost sardonically, sending shivers down Sebastian’s back.

Suddenly Kurt seemed taller than he was, partially because he got to his feet. Sebastian looked at him through guarded eyes.

“Strip,” Kurt’s one-word command echoed in the walls and for a few seconds, Sebastian just stared, not really believing his own ears. “What?”

“You heard me. Strip. I want to fuck you,” Kurt said, his voice softening a little as he cupped Sebastian’s cheek gently. How the hell did Kurt go from crying to.. this? Not that he was complaining. He preferred this to the awkwardness anytime.

“Please, Seb? I think I need this.”

Kurt had never asked to top before, so Sebastian automatically assumed that he was a bottom who didn’t like to switch. Kurt’s hand felt warm against his cheek and he couldn’t do anything but nod, his anger and confusion pushed aside to the back of his mind as he let lust consume him. Lust and longing was never far away when Kurt was present.

Kurt’s hand slid down his collar, dipping into the loose shirt he was wearing. Sebastian watched as the pale hand slipped beneath the soft fabric. Kurt’s fingers were cold, but he didn’t want him to stop. The shorter boy seemed hesitant and less than self-confident, so Sebastian confidently placed both hands on either side of Kurt’s hips, pulling him closer so that Kurt fell on his lap. Despite the fact that Sebastian hand’s where more confident and unwavering, he tried to give Kurt the option of control. Apparently, that was what he needed.

Sebastian told himself that he was happy as long as he got sex out of this, but it had been a long time since he bottomed. He pegged Kurt to being the bottom in his relationship with Blaine too, so he dearly hoped that the other knew what he was doing. If he was being honest with himself, he would admit that he was a little nervous of giving up physical control, but Sebastian would never admit something like that.

So instead, he stroke his warm palms up Kurt’s sides, his fingers toying with the cotton shirt that Kurt was wearing. He slowly rubbed his thumbs in circles as he inched his way up. The material heated up uncomfortably between his fingers and Kurt’s skin, so he impatiently flung it over Kurt’s head in a swift, jerky motion, eliciting a startled gasp from Kurt.

But Sebastian was still in control and Kurt knew it. He could see it in Sebastian’s eyes how hard it was for him to give up his control like this. But Kurt wanted this. He wanted a chance to prove to himself that he was worthy of steering his own life. He wanted to show himself that he was man enough to call his own shots. And maybe it was childish, maybe it didn’t make sense, but he also knew that Sebastian wouldn’t question him.

“Seb.. Let me,” Kurt intervened, when Sebastian proceeded to try to take off his pants as well. Kurt swatted away his hands and unbuttoned Sebastian’s shirt with such care that its owner had never shown before. Gently, he slid it off his shoulders and let it fall on the bed. He repositioned himself so that he was straddling Sebastian’s lap more comfortably before pushing the other back onto the bed. Sebastian landed with a thud and smirked back to Kurt whom just rolled his eyes.

Kurt was always so gentle and his movements were fluid, like the calm ripples in a lake. Sebastian, on the other hand, was passionate and hasty. Now was no exception. He tried to pull Kurt closer, take control of the situation and have it the way he wanted, but Kurt wasn’t going to let that happen. “Patience,” Kurt hissed close to Sebastian’s ear, his lips brushing against his earlobe sending sparks down Sebastian’s spine. Luckily for him, Sebastian was already lying down.

Kurt crawled down his lap so that he was on his knees beside him. He was gaining confidence by the minute, fuelled by Sebastian’s impatient whining. He wanted to make him pant for him, writhe in need for him– in short he wanted to reduce Sebastian into a mess before he fucked him into the mattress. Just the thought of it was empowering and Kurt felt his chest puff up in glowing pride.

Sebastian tried to reach up to Kurt again, his fingers brushing over Kurt’s growing erection. Kurt jerked and slapped his hand away. “Behave, or I might have to tie you up,” he said, his cheeks flushing from the bravery behind the words as he wrapped his fingers around Sebastian’s wrists and pulled them over his head.

Sebastian’s jaw dropped at the sight of this new Kurt that had apparently been hiding under all those bothersome layers. “Kurt.. Fuck, that’s hot..” he muttered. He was torn between the straining erection in his pants that found this Kurt breathtakingly hot and between his mind that was struggling for control. Right now his nether parts was winning. He wasn’t the type to deny himself pleasure and he wasn’t going to start anytime soon, especially not when Kurt was acting as self-confident and hot as he was.

Sebastian’s breath became hotter and shorter and as he felt Kurt’s tongue dart out to lick the skin right below his ear, on his neck where the skin was the most sensitive. “Kurt..” he whispered breathless, the sound sending heat to Kurt’s groin.

“Let me make you feel good,” Kurt whispered back, biting back the words he wanted to continue with. Let me prove to you that I can do it.

Sebastian didn’t say anything to that and neither did he fight against Kurt’s hands that were holding his hands in place above his head, locking them in place. Kurt’s warm lips wandered downwards, down his neck, his chest and his abs. His tongue darted out to trace the darker outline around Sebastian’s nipples, earning him a moan from Sebastian as the other bucked his hips up involuntarily. “Fuck Kurt..” Sebastian’s skin was getting hotter and hotter by the moment and his cock was straining again his jeans.

Kurt dragged his tongue roughly against Sebastian nipples, feeling them harder from the attention. “Jesus Christ, just fuck me already,” Sebastian said with gritted teeth, trying to keep from whimpering.

Finally it seemed as though Kurt took pity on his and unbuttoned his jeans. A wave of cool air hit Sebastian’s erection. Trembling slightly as all his senses were heightened, he helped Kurt to remove the rest of their clothes until they were pressed together, skin against naked skin and nothing else between them.

“Lube and condoms in the dra-“ Sebastian was cut off by an odd look from Kurt.

“I know,” the boy said, as though it should be obvious. How many times had they done this over the last weeks? Neither of them bothered to keep count.

Before he knew it, Kurt’s fingers were wet from lube and a finger was pushing against his entrance. Sebastian’s first reaction was to clench tightly and jerk his hips away from the intrusion, but the lost look on Kurt’s face made him change his mind. Taking a deep breath, he tried to relax and keep still as Kurt’s finger slowly went inside him. “Is this okay?” he heard Kurt’s nervous voice.

It stung a bit, but it wasn’t downright uncomfortable, so he simply nodded. “Yeah, it’s fine. You can add another,” he said, and Kurt complied immediately.

This time he stung and Sebastian hissed involuntarily, causing Kurt to worry his lip idly between his teeth. “Sebastian.. We don’t have to..”

“I can take it, go on,” Sebastian said convincingly. A little hesitantly, Kurt added a third finger and stretched him. It wasn’t as bad as he thought it would be and Kurt was gentle with him. Finally, his muscles loosened a little as he started to trust Kurt and the stinging was replaced with the pleasant feeling of being filled.

“Fuck!” Sebastian’s hips bucked upwards at the unexpected sensation that washed over him. When he looked up at Kurt, his lips parted and in awe, he was wearing a knowing smirk.

“Found it,” Kurt murmured under his breath and continued to wriggle his fingers against that spot as he pumped his fingers in and out of Sebastian. Soon Sebastian forgot the uneasiness of bottoming and was reduced to moaning softly for every time Kurt’s fingers brushed against his prostate. He closed his eyes and just enjoyed the feeling, not caring that he was moaning, whimpering and writhing softly as Kurt brought him closer to pleasure.

The warm feeling inside of him was building rapidly. “Almost there..” he murmured, regretting it immediately as Kurt stopped abruptly. He sent the other boy a glare, but Kurt just smiled back weakly. “I want you,” he explained, reaching down to kiss Sebastian on the lips. A condom was already rolled on and Kurt slicked his cock with lube before slowly pushing into Sebastian.

As Kurt’s erection breached the ring of muscles, Sebastian let out a groan. Fuck, that hurt more than he was willing to admit. Kurt stilled inside of him. “It’ll be better, I promise,” he said sympathetically and waited for Sebastian to give the signal before he continued to slowly work his way in until he was fully buried inside of Sebastian’s tight heat.

Kurt had topped with Blaine a few times, but Blaine never liked it much so they didn’t do it often. Besides Kurt had a general liking to bottoming, so it never was an issue, but now looking down at Sebastian’s debauched face with his hair all over the place, Sebastian’s lips red from kissing and biting, his cheeks with a soft red glow from excitement – he wondered why hadn’t done this before. For a moment, he was lost in Sebastian’s green eyes, as though he could see something important there, something soul-revealing, but he was pulled away from the moment by Sebastian’s impatient voice.

“Just move already, goddammit! I swear, Hummel, if you don’t fuck me this instant..”

What Sebastian would do to him, Kurt never found out, because that second he pulled out and slammed back in, emitting a low moan from how good Sebastian felt around him. Sebastian was slammed back on the mattress, his fingers curling around the thin material of his bedsheets as he tugged on them. “Fuck..” he whimpered as Kurt thrust into him – again and again – each thrust as merciless as the last.

“Kurt.. Oh god.. Kurt..” Sebastian moaned, his voice loaded with desperation as one of his hands went to Kurt’s back, scratching him slowly. His hips were moving in synch with Kurt’s and he was dangerously close to the edge. His vision swam, only making out specks of beautiful blue in his blurry and hazy mind that could only decipher the pleasure. Kurt was pounding into him relentlessly, and the sounds he was making were positively sinful. “SebSebSebSeb,” he chanted for every thrust and before Sebastian could even warn him or realise what was going on, he came with a loud moan. He shut his eyes and panted, trying to understand what the fuck really happened and how he managed to come so fast, but Kurt followed right after, tumbling on top of him.

“That was amazing..” Kurt whispered, kissing Sebastian’s chest softly.

Sebastian hummed in agreement. “It was. Now, can you remove your dick from my ass..?”

Right, he had never really been the one for pillow talk.

Within just a few weeks, Sebastian’s life had turned around completely. It was the end of the summer and Kurt was leaving for New York in a two days. He was heading there a week before Sebastian to fix practical things with Rachel, while Sebastian was just planning on winging it once he got there. His wardrobe didn’t take three days to unpack either.

It was the last night they had together and they both knew it. It hung over them like a wet woollen blanket, crushing on them with a smothering weight. Sebastian couldn’t explain the knot in his stomach or the unpleasant lump in his throat. Maybe he should go see the doctor about the cancer, or whatever it was. It was apparently getting out of hand.

They were in Sebastian’s bed with their arms around each other. They were just in each other’s arms, listening to the soft thumping of their heartbeats. Sebastian was struggling with his treacherous thoughts. He was counting the hours he had left with Kurt. Hours that would eventually become minutes and then seconds. He would follow Kurt to the door. Maybe kiss him goodbye and then watch him walk away from his life. So before that could happen, he took a picture of Kurt who was naked underneath the blankets with the camera on his bedside table.

In the past hour, something had changed between them. They had sex, but it wasn’t just sex. If he could dare to say it out loud… they made love. Sebastian couldn’t pretend anymore. He didn’t have terminal cancer and he wasn’t going to die, he knew that very well. He was in love with Kurt Hummel, and if he suddenly dropped dead, that would be the reason.

It was the first time he had ever made love to a person and he didn’t know if Kurt noticed the difference – beautiful Kurt who was used to being loved and in love – but he certainly did notice. He had never experienced anything as fulfilling, heart-warming and yet so excruciating before. He briefly remembered the way electricity shot through his heart, how his toes curled as though they were being pulled by a gravitational force. He could clearly remember Kurt’s sweat slicked body in perfect synchrony with his own, how they fitted together like they were meant to be. He thought he felt Kurt’s fingers slip in between his own as his face scrunched up in pleasure. But maybe it was just a figment of his imagination. Maybe he just saw what he wanted to see and everything was a lie. But he knew one thing; his heart drummed faster when he was beside Kurt, his palms got sweaty from nervousness when he thought about him, his stomach did weird somersaults that he was certain was hazardous for his health.

That was it.

He was doomed.

He was in love with Kurt Hummel.

And maybe Kurt loved him too. Why else would he be there, comfortably lounging in his bed after sex? Why would he spend the entire summer by his side if there wasn’t something more? So maybe this was it. Maybe this was the moment he had been trying to hold off his entire life. Maybe he was getting a boyfriend. It would be perfect, really. They would move to New York and explore the big city together, spend weekends together in each other’s arms and eat take-out while trying to understand their lecture notes and textbooks. Sebastian would be envious because Kurt’s writing was so much neater than his own ugly scrawl that he barely managed to read himself, and Kurt would laugh at him.

Sebastian would sit on the countertop and play guitar while Kurt cooked for them, because it was better for everybody if Sebastian stayed away from the stove. Kurt would miss his family and curl up in Sebastian’s arms while Sebastian would kiss his forehead and tell awkward jokes about grapes to cheer him up. What did the green grape say to the purple grape? Breathe! Breathe! Sometimes Sebastian would miss his sister and think about everything his sister would never get to experience and they would just cuddle up together on the small couch and not say anything – just listening to their heartbeats and breathes, reminding themselves that they were alive and they would live on for everyone who couldn’t.

And the end of the day, Sebastian’s nightmares would be gone because Kurt would be there, hugging him tightly as they slept, constantly reminding him that he was loved.

So maybe that was what prompted him to say what he did next.

“Live with me in New York.”

So maybe it wasn’t the most elegant move and not the subtlest either. Maybe he should have told Kurt how nice his eyes were, or that he really liked his smile. Maybe even told him that he wanted to be his boyfriend, or in fact just anything else.

He could feel Kurt tense up in his arms and wanted to kick himself in the ass.

“Live.. with me..” Sebastian said lamely. “In New York..”

When Kurt didn’t say anything, Sebastian swallowed thickly. They told each other that there would be no pretences, no lies. So here went nothing.

“I love you,” he admitted, his voice as soft as the setting sun outside. “I think I have for a while now. Maybe weeks, I don’t know.”

It looked like Kurt was going to turn in his arms so that he could look at Sebastian, but suddenly he was sitting up, his back facing Sebastian’s appalled face.

“I have to go,” Kurt’s voice said, his voice hard and cold.

“But I just-“

“I’m sorry.”

And with that, Kurt got dressed in a hurry and ran out of his room. Sebastian could only stare like a shock-damaged person who was unable to move or say anything of importance. So this was what goodbye felt like. They told each other that there would be no pretences, no lies. But they also promised that at the end of the summer, they would be strangers to each other. It just looked as though his summer was cut short by a few hours.

 He had no idea how long he’d been sitting there on his bed, staring at the ceiling with a dazed expression. Probably for way too long. He felt like a shadow of himself, a bad copy, a zombie. The suddenly, something happened. It started in the form of a single tear down his cheek and he quickly blinked it away, glad that he was alone. Breathing out slowly, he realised how painful it was to breath. It was as though someone had punched a hole in his windpipe and it was physically painful.

It was surrealistic how it only took two seconds to kill the hope he didn’t even know that he had, the hope that he had been slowly building for weeks, brick by heavy brick until he almost had a house. But apparently even brick walls can be destroyed by a wave of water and Kurt’s icy, piercing gaze.

His heart ached, throbbing painfully against his chest as though it had been stabbed, torn to pieces, jumped on and then stapled back on. Slowly, he crawled towards the top of bed and laid his head on his pillow. It still smelled like Kurt. And that was when he felt something inside of him break. Forcing his head into the pillow to muffle the sound, he screamed out the pain he felt, drenching it with his tears.

After a while, it could have been minutes or hours, the sun outside had gone down long ago. The house was quiet, not a footstep was to be heard. He dragged himself out of bed and took out the items from the drawer where he had kept them safe.

A camera. A jacket pin. A phone. Lemon balm leaves. A bottle cap. A box of condoms. A bottle of sleeping pills.

That was how Sebastian found himself on his bed, sitting on the very edge so that he had to cling on to the bedspread to not fall off. There were seven items on the table in front of him. Papers, books, CDs – all previous residents of the mahogany tabletop – were strewn on the floor in a careless chaos. Seven items were allowed on the dark, polished surface.

A camera. A jacket pin. A phone. Lemon balm leaves. A bottle cap. A box of condoms. A bottle of sleeping pills.

Seven items that he had managed to find that reminded him of the summer. The window was open and a cool breeze crept in, reminding him that the summer was coming to an end. The two days left were insignificant for him, for his summer was already over. The water had already washed away the fire. But he was preceding himself. Maybe it was best to start with the beginning.

With a sigh, he got off the bed and walked the three steps needed to get to the table. His hands were firmly placed on each side of the table. His warm palms were a contrast to the cool, smooth surface. He looked down at the items that he had carefully placed in a straight line. A camera, a jacket pin, a phone, a few lemon balm leaves on a stem, a bottle cap, a box of condoms and a bottle of sleeping pills. Objects that didn’t have much value unless you knew the story behind them. He started at the beginning and now he was at the story’s end. There was nothing more to be told.

Only when the sun had started rising did he fall asleep on top of his covers, his hand holding on to the camera where it was frozen on a picture of a smiling Kurt.

He was awoken hours later by a knocking on the door. Groaning as the sunlight hit his sensitive eyes, he rolled underneath the covers and stayed there.

“Sebastian, honey!” he heard his mother’s voice call from the other side of the door.

Sebastian made a disgruntled sound that was muffled by the blankets. “Go away..”

“Bastian, mon cheri, Kurt is here to see you.”

Now, that got his attention. He must have misheard her. But he was wide awake now, every trace of sleep gone. Maybe Kurt forgot his phone here. That would be sufficiently awkward. Nevertheless, he jumped out of bed and pulled on a pair of pyjama pants and a faded t-shirt. Tugging his hair to the side so that it wouldn’t be all over the place, he opened the door to find his mother walking away and Kurt standing there with tears in his eyes.

His stomach twisted at the thought of Kurt crying and instinctively, he reached forward to wipe away the tears there. “Kurt..?” he asked, not even hiding the confusion in his voice.

Kurt looked up at him with his glazed eyes and offered a weak smile.

“Can’t you see, you idiot? I love you too.”

His entire life, Sebastian had categorised his life in chapters, adding a new chapter for every new thing that happened. Paris was a chapter, Ohio was a chapter, New York was a chapter to be writing, but when he held Kurt in his arms, when his lips touched Kurt’s, he couldn’t help but think that maybe what he had with Kurt could be a whole book.
AN: This is it, guys. This is the end. Thank you for the beautiful journey.
Reviews are love :)

The Boys of Summer [6/7]: The Box of Condoms

Title: The Boys of Summer
Author: MoreThanTonight
Fandom: Glee
Paring: Kurt/Sebastian
Summary: A camera. A jacket pin. A phone. Lemon balm leaves. A bottle cap. A box of condoms. A bottle of sleeping pills. Not necessarily in that order. On one of the last days of summer before college, Sebastian thinks about the most eventful summer of his life and the items related to it. Each one of the seven items tells a story about two boys that summer and how they came closer. It is a story about friendship, love and overcoming obstacles.

AN: I’m sorry about the delay, but here it is. Thanks to Maria for being an angel and proofreading while I was too tired to do so myself. Uhm.. This chapter is mostly in Kurt’s line of vision and there is a reason for it. You’ll see :)  Thanks for reading!

Chapter six – The box of condoms.

Sebastian put back his phone in the neat line where it belonged. There were seven items on the mahogany table and the table itself glowed in mysterious red light as the sun came up outside. He didn’t want to waste his time sleeping, not when his days left here were measured. He could sleep when it all ended. He could sleep on the plane to New York. The plane that would take him far away from here; from the memories, the places, the people. His fingers brushed across the bottle top – the beginning of it all, the jacket pin – the day it became a reoccurrence and not just a drunken mistake, the lemon balm leaves – the first time Kurt spent the night, the sleeping pills – the rock in the path, the phone – the point where their relationship was altered forever. The next object was a rectangular box. It was simple on the outside with smooth surfaces and a discreet blue nuance. He ran his thumb over the lid, feeling the cool touch of the plastic that was unwavering beneath the pressure he exerted. Opening the box, he saw that there were three small packages left. They were square in shape with an imprint of a round circle in the middle. Condoms.

He could remember the flicker in Kurt’s eyes. That day, Kurt’s eyes were a brilliant azure that reminded Sebastian of the coast of Cannes where he had spent many a summer on the beach, working on his tan, sipping on a cocktail or swimming in the sea. He was in love with the sea and he liked it the best when Kurt’s eyes reminded him of those warm summers.

Ever since that day in the Lima Bean where they had shared something close to them, the space between them waned and they found themselves enjoying each other’s company more often than not.

Kurt tried staying away from his house as much as he could, quite to the disappointment of his father, but he always made up excuses of how he wanted to spend time with Mercedes and the girls before he went to New York. He never let slip that the real reason he didn’t want to be at home was because he felt as if he couldn’t breathe in his own house.

His father, Carole, Finn and Rachel, often occupied the house, making it literally exhausting to be around there, especially around the happy couples. Although it made Kurt happy to see his father finally have someone by his side that loved him and took care of him, his heart dropped every time he saw Burt and Carole’s fingers discreetly brush against each other as though they were longing to hold hands, but stopped themselves because they weren’t alone. Those loving gazes Carole sent Burt’s way when she thought no one was looking, the way his father would save the last piece of rhubarb pie for Carole because it was her favourite or the way they would cuddle up together on the loveseat while watching TV in the evening. Although all of these things were sweet, it made Kurt sick to his stomach. It was a reminder of what he didn’t have anymore, of what he had lost the moment Blaine had uttered those words.

It was even more infuriating to be around Finn and Rachel, with their wedding plans and future talk. He was reminded that Blaine and him used to talk about their future. About what kind of jobs they were going to have in New York (Kurt would perform on Broadway and Blaine was going to become a music teacher), what their tiny apartment would look like and how they would colour coordinate everything, how many kids they were going to have and what they were going to name them, what their wedding was going to be like and what kind of engagement ring Kurt wanted. They even discussed what kind of dog they wanted, even though Kurt told Blaine that he would rather have a cat than a dog. He just wasn’t a dog person.

But seeing Rachel and Finn together now was just too painful. First he had been under the illusion that it had to be because he missed Blaine, but the truth was that it didn’t hurt anymore when he thought about Blaine. Them breaking up was inevitable and they both knew it. However, it tugged on the corners of his heart, painfully throbbing when he thought about the life he wanted. A pair of arms to hold him close, someone to come home to, someone he could text when he was having a bad day and whom he would automatically get a reply that would cheer him up. He missed the security of having a boyfriend. He missed the things you take for granted when you have someone who loves you.

When he was with Sebastian he didn’t feel as lonely as he did when he was at home. They both knew that there was nothing between them. No pretences, no lies – that was what they agreed upon and maybe it was the raw honesty that comforted Kurt. He wanted the security of a relationship, but he couldn’t picture being in a relationship with Sebastian. Sebastian didn’t do relationships. So there was no way he could get too deep into this with no way of getting out. There was comfort in knowing exactly what this was and when it would end.

So as long as Kurt had that, it wasn’t a sin to smile giddily when he had his nose nuzzled against Sebastian’s hair while he found out that the scent of Sebastian’s shampoo was his favourite. It wasn’t wrong to love the way the muscles in Sebastian’s back twitched, and how freaking muscular and hot it looked when he stretched shirtless. It was completely fine to find himself staring at Sebastian’s lips, just wanting to reach forward and kiss him. Most of the time, he did. He would knit his fingers into Sebastian’s chestnut hair with a firm grip as he bought their lips closer. His lips would hover merely millimetres away from Sebastian’s, and his head would swim when he felt Sebastian’s hot breath on his. Then, as though hell had broken loose, he would crash their lips together, taking control of the kiss the times Sebastian let him, as used his lips as an asset to taste, feel and be near Sebastian’s velvety soft mouth. Sometimes, he would whimper into the kiss when he thought about the way those lips felt around his cock. How Sebastian’s face looked with his lips wrapped around his length, his cheeks hollowed and eyes determined. Just the thought of it made him horny.

That particular day Kurt insisted on going to Sebastian’s house, even though Mr. and Mrs. Smythe would be there. It had been three days since he had seen Sebastian naked and that was just way too long. Sebastian was initially sceptical, but he begrudgingly agreed, mainly for the same reason that Kurt was pushing – he wanted to get laid just as badly. He had never taken a boy home before and he had no idea how his parents would react, but it would be worth it when he had Kurt naked and squirming by his side.

“They know you are gay, right?” Kurt asked as he was fixing his tie in the mirror of Sebastian’s car. They had just gone to the store to get some ice cream because of Sebastian’s resolute nagging.

“Of course. They’ve known since I was in preschool,” Sebastian scoffed, as though the mere idea of him pretending to be straight for his parents was offensive.

“..And? Do they support you?” Kurt asked curiously. He had no idea what kind of people the Smythes were, and come to think of it, Sebastian never talked much about them.

“Of course they do. Well, maman is a little upset that she won’t have grandchildren, but they accept me for who I am. There are no pretences in our house. Just be prepared that everyone in my family is brutally honest – for good and for worse,” Sebastian made a grimace. He was already regretting this. Why couldn’t they just have gotten a cheap motel to fuck in? Bringing someone home to meet his parents was against everything he believed in. No, he reminded himself. He wasn’t bringing Kurt home to meet his parents, he was merely bringing Kurt home and his parents just happen to be there.

The Smythes weren’t anything like Kurt expected them to be at all. When Blaine and him talked about Sebastian’s family when they first met the rodent Warbler, they joked that Sebastian’s parents had to be from another planet or extremely cruel and unloving to have fostered such a vicious and immoral son. Because that was all Sebastian was to him before, the old school villain who wanted to steal his boyfriend.

Tristan and Josephine Smythe were the direct opposite of cruel and vicious. Tristan was a horn-rimmed glassed clad man who was wearing a red and white checkered apron on top of his ironed white shirt the first time Kurt met him. He had a spatula in his hand and was talking animatedly to a beautiful woman with angular features who looked so much like Sebastian that it was breathtaking. Except the hair. Whilst the woman’s hair was as black as the night, Sebastian had inherited his father’s brown hair. He already knew that his father was a state attorney, but it was hard to picture this man that stood in front of him as strict and unyielding as what Kurt’s mind told him a lawyer should be like.

The moment they stepped into the Smythes’ household, the melodious voice of a woman was heard.

“Sebastian, honey?” Is that you?”

“No maman, it’s the Queen of England,” Sebastian replied with a sigh as his cheeks flushed a little.

Kurt noticed that he normally would have playfully prodded the boy in his ribs, but he was too stunned by the normality of the situation. Where was the evil stepmother or the homophobic dad?

He followed Sebastian to the kitchen. Mr. Smythe was in mid-conversation with his wife while stirring into a pot of red sauce that smelled heavenly. Mrs. Smythe was cutting up vegetables for a salad. They both stopped their conversation and turned around to greet the newcomers.

“Sebastian!”, the woman chirped, her face breaking into a smile. “Is that the boy you have been spending all your time with lately?” she asked, her eyes dancing with something reminding of joy. Her waist length hair was in a single braid down her back and Kurt just couldn’t stop staring at her. She looked so much alike her son that it was almost scary. Naturally Kurt took a step back, subtly hiding a little behind Sebastian. Out of sight, out of mind, or so he hoped.

Sebastian neither acknowledged nor dismissed his mother’s statement, though the lack of denial seemed to be enough for the two adults in the room.

“Maman, papa, this is Kurt Hummel. Kurt these are my parents,” Sebastian said in a rushed voice  that indicated that he wanted to get out of there as soon as possible.

It was only then Kurt noticed the shuffling of Sebastian’s feet, the awkward posture and the way his hands were firmly shoved in his pockets, as though he didn’t know where else to place them. It was so strange for Kurt to see Sebastian so… insecure? Yes, insecure. If it wasn’t for the fact that he didn’t know where to put his sweaty palms, he would have been amused.

Suddenly he realised that maybe he was expected to say something, but before he could think of anything intelligent to say that wouldn’t embarrass him in any way, Sebastian’s dad spoke up. His voice was deep just like Sebastian’s, and despite the kindness in his voice, it carried authority. Suddenly Kurt could see this guy in a courtroom, winning a debate.

“So you are our Sebby’s boyfriend, then?” he asked with a smirk that could only be bested by Sebastian.

“He is not my boyfriend-“

“Uhm.. I really am not..”

“He’s just..”

“I’m just a friend who happens to be a boy”

“I know, the fact that he is a boy is hard to believe, but he is not my girlfriend either.”

At the last statement, Kurt turned his head to stare at Sebastian. No matter how many times he heard it, it didn’t cease to hurt and either Sebastian didn’t notice or he didn’t care. The other boy just shrugged.

Apparently Mr. and Mrs. Smythe found their attempt to assure them of their single status humorous and Kurt turned a brilliant shade of red.

Finally he stepped forward as he discreetly took a deep breath.

“I’m Kurt Hummel, Sebastian’s friend. It’s nice of you to have me here in your home, Mr. and Mrs. Smythe.”

“Oh look, Tristan, he is such a polite boy too!” the lady of the house cooed and Kurt noticed the slight accent she had that sounded a little French.

“And it is Tristan and Josephine to you, kiddo.” Mr. Smythe straightened his glasses before reaching out a hand to Kurt that the younger male tentatively shook. Unsurprisingly, Mr. Smythe – Tristan – had a firm grip that exuded self-confidence, much alike his son, just without the cockiness. Where Sebastian learned that, Kurt would never know.

“Yes sir,” Kurt found himself saying and he could hear Sebastian snicker behind him. He threw the other boy an evil glare that made him grin even broader.

“Right. Kurt and I are disappearing now,” he said, almost dragging Kurt out of the kitchen.

“Dinner will be ready in thirty minutes, boys, and I expect Kurt to join us!” they heard Josephine call after them.

When they were in Sebastian’s room with the door safely closed, keeping a mental distance between the boys and the adults, Kurt let out a relieved sigh.

“Don’t look at me like that. You were the one who wanted to meet my crazy parents,” Sebastian huffed.

They looked at each other for a moment before they both ended up laughing. Sebastian slumped down on his bed and it occurred to Kurt how easy it was to be around him. Sure, Sebastian made a few tactless jokes, but Kurt knew that he didn’t mean it – not really.

He sat down on the edge of the bed and watched as Sebastian tilted his head in thought.

Sebastian wasn’t the type to bring a person home to his parents, let alone a boy he frequently screwed. He stopped to remind himself that he didn’t bring Kurt home to meet his parents. It was just inevitable that his parents were there. This wasn’t a date and Kurt wasn’t his boyfriend even though they had wandered over to the friends category recently.

“Half an hour.. That is plenty of time for a quicky,” he smirked, watching Kurt’s expression go from tensed to wary.

Rolling his eyes, Kurt said, “Seriously, Smythe? Your parent are downstairs.”

“Yeah, but my room is pretty much soundproof,” Sebastian argued.

“No,” Kurt said firmly. “Your parents already think that we are dating and I’m not having dinner with them all sweaty and icky.”

“I can lick the sweat off your body,” Sebastian countered easily in a low voice as his grin grew.

“No!” Kurt huffed, but he couldn’t stop the slight pinking of his cheeks.

“Kurt,” Sebastian cooed, his fingertips trailing over Kurt’s blush as he came closer. When did he move to sit so closely? Kurt felt his cheeks grow warmer beneath Sebastian’s touch.

“Your parents are at home,” Kurt reminded him, his voice breathy and barely distinguishable.

“Then you better be quiet,” Sebastian grinned.

Whether it was the most awkward meal in existence or not, it was certainly interesting for Kurt, mainly because he, Mr. Smythe and Mrs. Smythe found some common ground. Said common ground being childhood stories of Sebastian.

Kurt honestly didn’t think that family dinner with the Smythes could be so amusing, even though his thighs were sticky and he was sure that his cheeks were still faintly flushed after the quick escape in Sebastian’s room. After the first few embarrassing stories, he was started to relax a little.

“There was this one time where Sebastian was nine and he was obsessed on making this Valentine’s Day card. He drew, coloured and even put stickers on it. I think he spent.. what was it? Three days?” Josephine looked at her husband for confirmation and Tristan nodded, barely able to hold off laughing until the end of the story. “He spent three days on it and he was so proud of it. And then when we asked who he was going to give the card to, he said that he was going to give it to Mr. Martins, his English teacher.”

Just as the words left Josephine’s lips, Tristan howled in laughter and Kurt could see Sebastian sink further into his chair as he picked on his food. He wanted to reach out and pat the other boy’s thigh in a comforting way, but the sadistic part of him was having too much fun.

“He was very straight and married, mind you,” Tristan added.

“So, you always knew that Sebastian was gay?” Kurt asked conversationally, twirling spaghetti onto his fork before taking a bite.

Tristan and Josephine exchanged an amused look and nodded. “He has never shown any kind of interest in girls, and even though he has never been what people would call ‘stereotypical gay,” Josephine dropped her fork to make quotation marks in the air. “He liked to play sports and was interested in monster trucks, I guess we always had this feeling. Although he was young at that time, he never showed any interest in the female friends Gabrielle-,” she stopped herself, as though she suddenly realised that Kurt probably didn’t know who Sebastian’s sister was and was remorseful for bringing it up under a dinner conversation.

The change was almost immediate. Tristan’s hand flew to Josephine’s back as he drew comforting patterns there. Sebastian just shrugged.

“He knows, maman.”

In retrospect, he should have understood that the surprised looks on Sebastian’s parents’ face meant something, but at that time he didn’t read too much into it.

Josephine straightened herself up and offered Kurt a smile, and he found himself being shocked at how genuine it was despite the situation.

“Anyways, when Gabrielle brought her female friends home, Sebastian never showed any interest. He never peeked into their room or hovered around them – nothing. But when there were male friends around, he was awestruck and all over the place.”

Sebastian leaned closer to Kurt to whisper in his ear. “In later years I fucked a few of them,” he revealed in a hushed tone without his parents’ knowledge and Kurt stopped himself from glaring at the inappropriate boy.

And just like that the tension was gone. Kurt could understand in a way. The first few months after he lost his mother, it was painful to even mention her or see her name somewhere. The following years the pain subsided, but it was never gone. But the most distinctive difference was that he and his dad could talk about her and share fond memories without feeling the overwhelming wave of sorrow all the time. There still were times where Kurt would wake up from a good dream with his mother in it and feel hollow for the rest of the day, there were days were he felt it hang over him like a rain cloud and there were nights were cried himself to sleep because he missed his mother. But for most of the time it was just a numbing pain, slightly throbbing, but manageable.

And that was what Kurt was seeing in the Smythes. It was a family who tried to function and be as normal as possible despite the tragedy that struck them. Kurt quickly learned that Gabrielle wasn’t a taboo issue in the household. She was never forgotten. But they talked about other things too, like how Tristan’s co-worker spilled coffee all over his pants or how Josephine who worked as a pre-school teacher had lost a student on a field trip for a few hours.

At the end of dinner when they refused to let Kurt help them clean up and he made way back to Sebastian’s room. It felt as though he had gained something. For so long, the only person in grief Kurt knew was his dad and they made things in their small family work. They had their own routines, their quirks and their habits. It was a push and pull relationship where they were both reliant on the other to make things work. But this was the first time Kurt got to be with a family who had suffered a loss too and see how things where in other families. In a way it wasn’t too different. He couldn’t explain why, but his heart felt lighter and his shoulders felt as though they were floating.

“They’ll be gone in a few minutes,” Sebastian broke Kurt’s line of thoughts and for once, Kurt didn’t mind the interruption or the obvious meaning behind Sebastian’s words. He had a serene, yet giddy smile on his face as he pulled Sebastian closer when they got into his room. He kicked the door shut and placed his arms on either side of Sebastian’s shoulders.

Sebastian was a little taller than him and it was different from being with Blaine, but it was a difference he welcomed with open arms. Closing the distance between them with a soft kiss, Kurt felt the weight of Sebastian’s lips against his own, the warm, wet pressure that made his head spin. He let out a breathy sigh against Sebastian’s lips and broke the kiss, but he didn’t let him go quite yet.

It felt intimate in a whole new way and it occurred to Kurt how ironic it was that a kiss felt the most intimate even after all the sex they had been having. They heard wheels against the grovel outside and understood that they were now alone in the house. But instead of ripping each other’s clothes in sheer desperation, they were locked in a comfortable embrace that neither wanted to admit that felt better than they had imagined.

Eventually they fell on the bed with Kurt against the headboard and Sebastian lying on top of him. It felt domestic in a way to cuddle like that, if it could be called cuddling. It was certainly a first for them to find themselves in that way without having sex first or when it wasn’t their unconscious minds that entangled their limbs together when they were asleep.

“What do you want to do?” Kurt asked after a while, a little hesitant that Sebastian would come to his senses and pull away. But he should. He should pull away. There was no reason for them to cuddle, even though it felt inhumanly good and tugged on all the wrong corners of Kurt’s heart.

A shadow of doubt crossed Sebastian’s face and for a moment it looked as though he was torn between pulling away and just craving in by staying in Kurt’s arms. He chose neither. “I want to live,” he said, his voice as soft as a shy breathe.

“Pardon?” Kurt’s confusion was mirrored in his face with his lips slightly apart and his eyebrows drawn. “I want to live,” Sebastian repeated, this time with more force.

“I want to breathe, to feel my heart beating. I want to feel like I am living,” he said a little breathlessly as he got caught up in his own words and the meaning behind them. It was as though a spark was lit in his eyes and he just couldn’t let go of the feeling, not before he had received everything it had to offer.

“And how do you propose we do that?” Kurt asked, his confusion replaced with curiosity and fascination. Sebastian’s mood was catching and Kurt felt an urge he hadn’t felt before. An aching he didn’t know he had; the need to breathe. To feel like a living, breathing thing that could yield anything in his position as long as he felt the need to do so. The hair on his arms was tingling with excitement and his stomach fluttered at the thought of doing something out of the ordinary.

Sebastian eyes darted over the room, sweeping it with his eyes as his eyes were lined in thought. “Let’s go somewhere far, far away. Italy, France, Spain,” he suggested, a laughter spilling from his lips as though he knew of the insanity behind his words. “Let’s be impulsive, Kurt.”

“We can’t go to all these places, Bas. I don’t even have a passport,” Kurt laughed in return, shaking his head.

“So let’s go someplace else, someplace they can’t touch us.”

Kurt didn’t even have to ask who they were. He just understood. The world, the people they knew, the strangers on the street. Everyone else but them. It was a heat of the moment thing were nothing else mattered. He didn’t care that he told his father that he would be home before midnight. He didn’t care that he would have to start packing for New York soon, or the most important thing; that they wouldn’t have this anymore in a few weeks.

“Let’s go to the lake,” Sebastian suggested and Kurt looked puzzled for a second. What did that have to do with breathing? “Have you ever gone skinny dipping?” Sebastian asked and he shook his head as though he though Sebastian had gone mad.

“Me neither. So what are you waiting for?” In the blink of an eye, Sebastian was out of bed and reaching a hand to Kurt, waiting for him to grasp it. It was a silent invitation – a dare.

Kurt hesitated for a second before the overwhelming need to do something impulsive hit him with full force and he took Sebastian’s hand with a firm grip and hoisted himself up.

And that was how the two boys found themselves in the middle of the woods, by the edge of the lake. Sebastian flung his t-shirt to the ground and was wrestling with the stubborn button on his pants. It was slowly becoming dark, but it wasn’t completely dark yet. The fading sun on the sky was giving off a soft light, reflecting on the lake with a faint glow behind the clouds. If anything, the light was a dark, gloomy grey.

Before Kurt knew it, Sebastian was in his boxers looking at him expectantly. When he looked down at himself, he saw that he had just undone the top button of his shirt. Suddenly it didn’t feel like such a good idea. What if someone walked past and saw them? What if they took pictures of them and published them, ruining his performing career forever?

“What are you waiting for?” Sebastian asked, and Kurt was reminded of the fierce longing for breathing, for living they had held back in Sebastian’s room and the need to be impulsive and do something stupid returned to him.

Without giving it a second thought, he stepped out of his clothes and turned around as Sebastian took off his boxers, all though he couldn’t explain why he felt the need to give the other privacy. He had seen it all before.

This time it was Kurt who reached out a hand to Sebastian that the taller boy took with a warm smile. They looked at each other for a few seconds before Kurt let out a nervous chuckle. “Let’s do this before I change my mind.”

They sprinted towards the water, hand in hand, dived straight in. The water was lukewarm, but felt cool against his skin. It was refreshing and freeing at the same time and Kurt dived down head first, without thinking about the amount of hairspray in his hair or what the water would do to his skin. Sebastian was still there when he resurfaced and Kurt saw something he thought he would never see in Sebastian’s face; the look of pure joy. No doubts, no sorrow, no snark – just plain, unadulterated happiness. It was easy to be intoxicated on less.

The minutes trickled past, but neither of them could tell the other how much time they had spent there. The sun was rapidly disappearing and when Kurt first thought about it, it was a lot darker than it was when they came, but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

It was a silly thing really. They were in a mood where they allowed themselves to be wide-eyed and look at the world in a different way. It felt like being on drugs, only they were intoxicated on life – on each other. Kurt jumped on Sebastian’s back without a warning, but the boy managed to catch him before he could fall, entangling his arms around Kurt’s ankles as laughter filled the air. Kurt had never felt as liberated as he did that moment.

“Bas, it’s getting cold,” he pouted when he finally got down. Sebastian nodded in agreement and they got out of the water. They got clothed and Sebastian collapsed to the ground, his face facing the lake that now housed the reflection of the moon.

Kurt sat down beside him, despite that he worried about his designer jeans. “What are you thinking about?” he asked Sebastian. It sounded better than the typical ‘Penny for your thoughts’.

Kurt noticed how the reflection of the moon danced in Sebastian’s eyes, like it was meant to be there. “It would be cool to live in a submarine, right?” he asked rhetorically. Kurt snorted and shifted his gaze to look at the water himself.

“The fishes are probably good company,” he replied with a serene smile on his face.

“Probably. They don’t judge.”

“That, they don’t. But we don’t have a submarine,” Kurt pointed out.

“..Maybe we do. We can’t live in it, but…” Sebastian trailed off, searching his jacket pocket for something. From his inner pocket, he fished out a box of condoms.

“Really, Bas? Condoms? You want to have sex out in the open?”

“Tempting, but no.” Without offering an explanation, he took out a condom packet and tore open the wrapping. Kurt looked at him with amusement clear on the smile he was wearing as Sebastian rolled out the condom and placed the opening to his lips and blew.

It was almost like a balloon, only that the condom didn’t get much bigger. Maybe a little, but it wasn’t distinctive. As Sebastian tied a knot at the opening and showed Kurt, he could see that it did look like a submarine.

Feeling curious, Kurt opened another wrapping and tried it himself. The latex and lube tasted weird on his tongue, but he focused on blowing. Sebastian did the same until they were out of condoms and there were twelve mini submarines by their feet.

“Let’s see if they can swim,” Kurt suggested and they got to their feet.

It must have looked odd if someone was watching them. Two young boys, definitely not children but not quite adults yet, with their hands filled with condom balloons as they let go of them, one after one on the surface of the water. The little balloons drifted away on the water, not one of them sinking.

The boys looked at them float away with mesmerised stares until the shapes of the condoms were undistinguishable.

As they returned back to the car, Kurt had only one thought in his mind.

Best spent box of condoms ever. 

Part 7

Kurtbastian Week Day 1: Kurtbastian and kids: Of Parks, Pink Pancakes and Princesses

Title: Of Parks, Pink Pancakes and Princesses
Author: MoreThanTonight
Pairing: Kurtbastian
Prompt: Kurtbastian and kids
Warnings: Uhm.. Fluff?


”Papa, papa!” a shrill voice was heard from somewhere in the house. Sebastian rolled over and tried to drown out the sound as he moved closer to the body radiating heat in the bed. He snuggled closer to his favourite spot, the place where shoulder became neck. He could smell the musky scent with a floral hint that no doubt was from his husband’s shampoo.

“Daddy! Papa! Wake up! You promised to take me to the park today!” The voice came closer and closer, accompanied by the sound of quick steps up the staircase.

Kurt stirred underneath Sebastian and blinked in confusion. It was already bright and the sun was peeking through the curtains like a man eager to see his lover. However, Kurt wasn’t interested in seeing the sun right now.

The footsteps came closer and closer until both men felt the mattress shift as a new weight flopped on the bed. The weight was jumping on the double bed that the two men where curled on top off, in their pyjama pants and their shirts off.

“El.. Go away..” Sebastian complained, reluctant to open his eyes as he rolled off Kurt and sank together in a ball beneath the covers, effectively ignoring them both.

Kurt groaned and sat up, glancing at his five year-old daughter. The girl was wearing a pink princess dress that Sebastian had bought for her and her hair was in loose ringlets around her shoulders. Kurt thought that her hair was getting too long for a young girl in constant activity, but Sebastian insisted on keeping it like that, claiming that it was cute. He shot Sebastian a look and rolled his eyes. His husband had never been a morning person and normally he wouldn’t even acknowledge your existence unless a cup of coffee was brought as a peace offering.

“Daddy, come on!” the young voice broke the monotonous sound of spring bouncing up and down as she continued to jump on the bed. Sebastian grumbled something to himself and pulled the covers over his head. It was the final straw for Kurt and he hopped of the bed, carrying his daughter with him. Picking up the shirt that was hanging on his chair, he ushered the girl down the stairs as he buttoned it up.

“Let papa sleep, sweetheart. You know how grumpy he becomes when we wake him up too early”

“But.. ’Cept when wake him on his birthday,” Elizabeth laughed as Kurt lifted her up on the kitchen counter.

Kurt nodded affirmatively and got out a mixing bowl and a few ingredients. “Maybe he won’t be so grumpy if we make him pancakes, right sweetheart?”

Elizabeth nodded with a smile tugging on her lips. Her daddy made the best pancakes in the world, they were much better than Kate’s mom’s. “Can we make them pink?”

Kurt fought the urge to roll his eyes. His daughter was in her pink phase where everything needed to be in some shade of pink. Sebastian usually gave in to everything she wanted and bought her a new set of pink stationary, a pink school bag and almost everything else she pointed at. But how can you say no to those eyes, Kurt? It’s like she’s looking straight into our souls, begging for us to love her.  Kurt had put his foot down when his husband almost bought her a brand new pink bike when her ‘old’ bike was just two months old.

“I don’t think papa likes pink pancakes, love,” he said as he mixed the batter in the aluminium coloured bowl.

Elizabeth stuck her lip out in a pout. “He loves them! He told me!”

This time Kurt couldn’t contain a chuckle. “He really doesn’t love them. He doesn’t even like pink”

“Who doesn’t love whom?”  A voice was heard from behind, causing Kurt and Elizabeth to turn their heads at the same time. They were met with the sight of a shirtless Sebastian in his pyjama pants with his hair sticking up in various angles.

“Daddy says that you don’t love pink pancakes!”

Sebastian hid a grimace and looked at his smiling daughter that was perched on top of the kitchen counter. She had big brown eyes, unlike his own green and Kurt’s blue, and he felt his resolve melting away with one look. “I love pink pancakes,” he found himself saying – lying – just to keep the smile there. She was just a spoilt child and both adults knew it. But whose fault was it? Kurt would blame Sebastian and Sebastian would just shrug indifferently.

“Whipped..” Kurt muttered under his breath as he rummaged the top cabinet to find pink food colouring.

“Wotcha say, daddy?”

“Cream! Whipped cream,” Kurt made a save and flashed her a brilliant smile. “All good pancakes must have whipped cream”

Kurt felt a pair of strong arms embrace him from behind a second before he felt a warm body press against his back. Sebastian placed an open mouthed kiss to Kurt’s exposed neck before whispering into his husband’s ear. “Is there any way we can not go to the park today? I have case files to look through”

“You were the one who promised to take her to the park!” Kurt hissed back in a hushed tone as he mixed the batter, the pink colouring got mixed with the rest, giving the pancake batter a pale pink tone.

“You know I can’t say no to her. Please..?” Sebastian whispered, nipping softly at Kurt’s earlobe, the affectionate action sending pleasant tingles down Kurt’s spine. He pushed away his husband with a scowl, mostly because erections were really hard to cover up in pyjama pants and he didn’t want to explain that to Elizabeth.

“You promised her that and you are not backing out from your promise. No, we are going to the park and that’s final. ,” he said in a stern voice and Sebastian gave up.

Upon hearing the magic word, Elizabeth’s face lit up. “Park! Daddy, park!”

Kurt poured the batter into a pan and shot Sebastian a look that said fix it.

With a sigh, Sebastian picked up the hyperactive girl from the kitchen counter. “Okay, ma petite cherie, we can go the park. But you have to change into playing clothes first so that we don’t get dirt on your nice princess dress”

Kurt watched the two of them disappear upstairs to get changed before he went back to cooking with a smile on his face. If someone had told him during high school that he would end up marrying Sebastian Smythe, he would have told them that they were absolutely crazy. But now, between the little girl and his husband, there was nothing more he could wish for. 

The Boys of Summer [5/7]: The Phone

Title: The Boys of Summer
Author: MoreThanTonight
Fandom: Glee
Paring: Kurt/Sebastian
Rating: M
Summary: A camera. A jacket pin. A phone. Lemon balm leaves. A bottle cap. A box of condoms. A bottle of sleeping pills. Not necessarily in that order. On one of the last days of summer before college, Sebastian thinks about the most eventful summer of his life and the items related to it. Each one of the seven items tells a story about two boys that summer and how they came closer. It is a story about friendship, love and overcoming obstacles.
Warning: Suicide mention.
AN: This chapter was really the hardest one to write by far and I don’t know if I have done it justice at all. It’s a hard topic to write about and I want all the reactions to be as natural as possible, but the problem is that there are no natural reactions to things like that. Everyone react in their own way and this is how I imagine Kurt and Sebastian to react. With that said, I have to say that writing a so.. cell phone centred chapter was a challenge and I hope it turned out okay.

Warnings for suicide mention.


It was way past midnight now. When did it even become this late? The last time Sebastian looked out of the window, the moon was shining brightly outside his window. Now a small stream of light seeped through his window. The sun was already coming up. Could it really only be a few weeks ago that he and Kurt were in this very same room, arguing over this bottle of pills he had in his hand? No, they weren’t arguing. Kurt had expressed concern for him and he had pushed him away, the same way he did with everyone else who tried to come too close to him. This was what he did. He scorched, he burned, and he pushed people away. It was the nature of fire.

But he wouldn’t be standing here right now if that were the ending of the chapter about Kurt Hummel. There were a lot of things Sebastian regretting doing in his life, but not giving up on Kurt after that incident was one of the few things he didn’t regret. Or maybe it was Kurt who didn’t give up on him even though Sebastian presented him with a valid reason to do so. But he was getting ahead of himself now.

The moon was slowly fading, cocooned by the bright light seeping through the clouds. How long had he been awake now? It was almost 4 am, and but it felt as though he had been awake for days.


The days after the grand goodbye with Kurt had been uneventful despite Sebastian’s efforts to make them as busy as possible. He went to Scandals the next night, but every time he caught a glimpse of a brown haired boy matching Kurt’s height, his heart beat abnormally fast, his palms became sweaty and he felt the need to get out of the overcrowded bar. He went home without a score that night, and yet again the small white pill met his lips as he tried to get some sleep. The day after, the last day he had before his parents came home, he decided to forget about Scandals. He didn’t want to risk a run-in with Kurt, even though the chances of finding the boy there were minimal. Instead he drove a good two hours to another gay bar, The Sphinx.

Unlike Scandals, The Sphinx was actually glamorous. It was one of those two-story dance bars with strobe lights and stripper dancers in cages. It was a tad too much for Sebastian for a regular outing, but sometimes he would go there when the selection at Scandals was minimal and he wanted a change of scenery. Initially The Sphinx had been a hit. He forgot everything about getting home and downed a shot after the other before he let the pulsating music fill his body. He could feel the burn from the alcohol in his throat and the slightly dizzy feeling it gave him. He caved in to the feeling; he dipped into it and revelled in the mindlessness of it. His body felt numb but alive at the same time. Heading towards the dance floor, he squeezed his way through dancing, laughing males to get to the very centre where bodies were pressed so tightly against each other that it felt like one big, pulsing organism. Before long the music took control of his body and he was laughing along with the other strangers.

One man caught his attention. He was tall, even taller than him with jet-black hair and extension earrings. He was wearing a tank top that showed off the many tattoos he had on his arms. A voice in the back of his mind said that Kurt wouldn’t approve of him. He pushed that voice away and revelled in the fact that he looked nothing like the brown-haired dainty-looking boy back in Lima.

            Even better so, the man was looking straight back at him. This part of the game was all too familiar for Sebastian. Once eye contact was made, it was all a game. Like chess, it was about predicting the opponent’s move and having a counter move ready. The man came closer for every bar of the song, but he did it so subtly that Sebastian was probably the only one who noticed. He didn’t want to look desperate, Sebastian thought. Instead of meeting him halfway, he let the man come to him. It was all a game, after all. He turned away and pretended not to care. He pretended as though he didn’t see the man at all. Let him come.

            Before long he felt a body press up against his back, even closer than the other bodies that were a frenzy around him. The corners of Sebastian’s mouth turned upwards in a smirk. The man snaked an arm around Sebastian’s waist. It was hot and demanding. You are mine for as long as I please. For once it was nice to have somebody pursue him instead of the other way around. He was tired of being the one to initiate everything.

            Sebastian turned slowly in the other man’s arms with an innocent look upon his face. The music was too loud for them to speak to each other, but it didn’t matter. There was nothing Sebastian wanted to hear from this man and there was nothing he wanted to tell him either. They danced together for a while, the man’s hands wandering everywhere; over his back, his ass, the place where his butt turned into thighs. Sebastian moved his hips to the music, purposefully grinding his crotch against the man’s. For every moment, the man’s eyes became darker and darker and Sebastian could feel his hard cock against his thigh, but he didn’t say anything. It was a game. Before long, the man took hold of Sebastian’s hand and dragged him out of the inner circle. He won.

            Sebastian could feel the alcohol clouding his senses and he bumped into countless people as he was being dragged out, people he didn’t even bother to apologise to as they were too busy dancing to even notice. The next thing Sebastian recalled was standing in a locked stall in the men’s room. It was ridiculous that a place like this even had a ladies room as its patrons were almost exclusively men.

            The music was softer here, but only barely. The man was already getting his pants down on his knees so he followed suit without questioning it. This was so familiar for him that it went on autopilot. It seemed as though the tattooed man didn’t want names or pleasantries and that was more than fine for Sebastian. He wasn’t here to chat. He wanted to get off. The man got on his knees and Sebastian noticed for the first time how manly he was. His biceps were huge and his shoulders were broad. He was probably one of the straightest looking men he had ever seen, if you believed in the theory of gay people looking gay.

            Before Sebastian could catch a glimpse of the colour of his eyes, the view was obscured by a mop of black hair. White hot tingles of pleasure shot up from his cock, making his knees go weak and the telltale feeling of a wet tongue licking along the underside of his cock told his alcohol and now lust-addled brain what was going on. He gripped the man’s hair roughly and forced him down on his cock. Surprisingly enough the man didn’t gag. Unlike Kurt.

            Suddenly his thoughts shot back to the beautiful boy and Sebastian could picture the expression he would have if he had seen him now. He could see the burning contempt in Kurt’s eyes swirling around with the colour-changing thunderclouds in Kurt’s eyes.

            Sebastian felt a shiver down his spine and it was not of the good kind. No matter how skilled the man on his knees was, he just couldn’t get into it. The hair he fisted didn’t have the right length. The man was too tanned. His shoulders were too broad. He wasn’t Kurt.

            With a frustrated growl Sebastian pushed the man away and from the corner of his vision he saw the confused expression the man had. Sebastian shook his head and muttered a bad excuse before he pulled his pants up and stormed out of the bathroom.

Being back in the loud, crowded dance floor wasn’t appealing, so he got out of the bar. He headed towards his car before he realised that he wasn’t going to be able to drive in his condition and he didn’t want to risk damaging his car by ending up in an accident. So he called a cab and waited.

That night Sebastian went to bed alone too and the cold he felt in his bones were not because of the temperature in his room. They were chills of lonliness. Somewhere in the back of his mind he had gotten used to having the little gay-face beside him as he slept, and even though Kurt didn’t sleep over he knew that it wouldn’t be long until he saw him again. But now it seemed darker than it had done before.


His parents came back and even they noticed that something was off with him. Sebastian brushed it off and said that it was a stupid cold, and they didn’t ask any further.

It had been exactly one week since he last spoke to Kurt and during that time there was nothing between them. No calls, no texts. Kurt didn’t even post anything on facebook. Not that Sebastian checked every hour. After a while he started getting worried. What if Hummel never really got home that night? What if he got run over by a truck? Or kidnapped and sold to some creepy country?

So he decided to text the boy.

From Sebastian Smythe: Jeff asked if you were alive.

He waited for a whole hour without a single reply.

From Sebastian Smythe: So… Are you?

Again, no reply. Sebastian’s patience was being tested.

From Sebastian Smythe: Okay, so it wasn’t Jeff who is asking. It’s me. Are you alive? If you are, say something.

From Sebastian Smythe: Kurt?

From Sebastian Smythe: I know this is your number!

From Sebastian Smythe: Okay okay, I was an idiot that day. What else do you want me to say?

From Sebastian Smythe: Kurt.. Please tell me that you are all right.

From Sebastian Smythe: Now I think that aliens who are probing you on an hourly basis have kidnapped you.

But no matter what he wrote, he never got a reply. He contemplated driving to Hummel’s house to see if he was alive, but that would mean showing Kurt how much he cared. He was being silly. Besides, he didn’t even care.

But Sebastian was losing his own game. He was starting to care. Exactly one week and two days after Kurt walked out his door, Sebastian finally gathered the courage to swallow his pride. He told himself that he was just checking up on the boy.

            His thumb slid over the phone screen as he looked for the right contact. Doubt filled his mind. Should he really be doing this? Maybe it would be the best for both of them if he just tried to forget the pale-skinned boy. There was a great chance that Kurt didn’t even want to talk to him. However he knew. Sebastian knew that he wouldn’t be able to have a good night’s sleep without talking to him one final time. He had to fix things. Ever since the incident with Karofsky, Sebastian had really tried to be a better person. And something within him told him that he wasn’t done with Kurt yet.

He didn’t give himself the chance to back out and quickly tapped on Kurt’s name. The dialing tone made his heart beat faster and suddenly he felt like a fourteen-year-old teenager about to talk to his crush.

The phone rang and rang. Sebastian counted until fourty-five and just as he was about to hang up, he heard a soft voice in the end of the other line.


Sebastian exhaled in relief. Kurt was alive. A part of him wanted to hang up because he had just called to see if everything was all right.

Sebastian, I know it’s you,” Kurt’s resigned voice was a little biting this time.

“Uhm.. Yeah. I just wanted to know that you are not dead, or anything…”, Sebastian’s voice trailed and he realised how stupid it sounded.

I’m not dead, but I have been kidnapped by aliens who are probing me on an hourly basis,” Kurt scoffed, with a mocking voice.

Sebastian rolled his eyes even though Kurt couldn’t see it.

“I’m only going to say this once, so you better listen carefully. I’m sorry for what I said that day. I shouldn’t have blown up in your face like that. You are not pushy and you are not suffocating me. It was just something I said because I wanted you out of there.” Sebastian took a deep breath before continuing. “In my defence, you shouldn’t have pushed me like that. Don’t you have secrets you don’t want to tell anyone?”

Kurt was quiet for a while before he answered.

I do have secrets. But what I liked about the.. thing we had was that I could be myself in ways I can’t be when I’m with people who have known me for years.” Kurt’s voice was hesitant again, just like the time when he said that they were friends. Sebastian didn’t fail to notice that Kurt - deliberately or not - had used past tense to describe them.

Before Sebastian could respond to that, Kurt continued. “Like you said, we don’t have obligations to each other. And we both know that by the end of this summer, we will just be two strangers in the same city who shared a summer together. We will probably never see each other again and even if we did, we both know that we won’t talk to each other. So why pretend? Why should we put up these walls around us? Why do we act as though whatever we say to each other will affect out future? Whatever we have is not permanent; so let’s just enjoy it for what it is. We keep so many secrets from the world, Sebastian. Both you and I. So let’s pretend that we don’t have secrets. Just you and I. Just this summer.”

By the end of the little speech, Kurt felt a little breathless and Sebastian was completely speechless. The silence stretched between them like a balloon getting bigger and bigger, ready to pop.

Sebastian wrecked his mind for something to say, but words failed him. When the silence was sufficiently awkward, Kurt spoke up again.

Okay, listen. I know that was a bad idea..

“-No.. I like it.” Sebastian didn’t know what possessed him to do it. Maybe it was the same fascination that pulled him towards Kurt no matter how many times he tried to stay away. Maybe it was the loneliness of not telling anyone. He didn’t want to be alone, even though he knew that it was just for one summer. It couldn’t hurt, could it? To open up for the rest of the summer and then pretend it never happened.

You.. Do?” Kurt sounded genuinely surprised.

“No pretences, no secrets.. It sounds absolutely crazy, but I can do that. But at the end of this summer, everything stops. At the end of the summer, you and I are complete strangers and I am just the boy who tried to steal your boyfriend,” he said, just to clarify.

“..I’ll be over,” Kurt said, and Sebastian could hear the relief in his voice.

“No wait, my parents are here.. Let’s meet for coffee instead,” he suggested.

Sebastian Smythe is actually requesting a civil conversation. This could be interesting..”

“I’ll see you at the Lima Bean, Tinkerbell”

And just like that, his summer became something entirely different than he had planned it to be.


They had met for coffee and coincidently, the table where Sebastian and Blaine had been sitting the first time Sebastian met Kurt was vacant. In a way it fitted the situation they were in. It felt as though they were going to get to know each other for the first time all over again. This time there would no pretences. Just Kurt and Sebastian. Two boys who were willing to strip themselves to the bone just for the sake of it. Kurt needed someone who wouldn’t judge him. No matter how much he loved his friends, knowing people for years made it hard for them to differentiate between the person you were for three years ago and the person you are now. Kurt needed someone to feel physically close to as he licked the wounds from his previous relationship. Sebastian needed someone who was able to keep up with him, someone who could give back as much as they got. But most of all he wanted someone he would share his deepest, darkest secrets with, even though it was just for a summer. A permanent relationship was scary. That was why he didn’t tell his friends, because they would have too much to say in his life. But Kurt would be a non-existent factor in his life after this summer. There would be no problem.

How could they know that the other wouldn’t betray them? They couldn’t know. But they were willing to trust, because at the end they would both have something on the other.

Sebastian didn’t know Kurt’s coffee order the way Blaine did, but Kurt didn’t expect him to either. They got their coffees separately and unconsciously drifted towards the table where they first met. Sebastian was the first to sit down. While he busied himself with stirring sugar and milk into his coffee, Kurt just stared at him.

“You haven’t seen me for a few days and you already can’t tear your eyes off me, huh?” he asked, finding it surprisingly easy to fall back into that light, mildly teasing, conversational rhythm they shared. A few days was an understatement. One week and two days, but it wasn’t like he was counting.

            “I see you haven’t become any more manageable in the lack of my presence,” Kurt shot back.

            And they knew, they both knew that no matter how things had ended last time, they hadn’t lost their push and pull.

            They drank from their coffees with a comfortable silence surrounding them. It was the middle of the summer and the Lima Bean was pretty packed. There were mostly girls there, laughing along with their friends about god knows what. Sebastian didn’t mind them. He looked at Kurt and broke the silence.

“I’ll tell you,” Sebastian said. This time he felt as though he had a choice, a real one. Instead of being pushed into telling the truth while he was in a state of distress, he could choose to open up or walk away. The choice was his. No secrets, no pretences. Just the promise that they would be strangers sometime soon. Kurt looked up from his coffee with a questioning look.

“You said that your dad used sleeping pills after your mother’s death?” Words came easier to him now. He had thought through what he was going to say and how he was going to say it. As long as he wasn’t interrupted, he could say it and still stay detached. Not let himself feel the pain of his words. He had felt that pain like a throbbing stab to the heart for so many years now that it was something he just learned to live with. Thinking about it, talking about it made the pain worse, but he was glad that they were in a packed café instead of his bedroom. Sebastian wouldn’t let himself break down here.

“I guess it was the same for me too. I.. I had a sister, Gabrielle. And she.. she was taken away from us,” he paused to look down at his coffee.

No matter how much he had prepared, he knew that this would be hard. He had never told anyone with his own words about this, apart from his therapists. He knew that there were rumours in the neighbourhood and sometimes friends of his parents would come to visit and deliver food at the same time every year. “Well, she actually decided to go.” Words felt heavy in Sebastian’s mouth. There was no right way of saying this. Suddenly it felt as though someone held his heart in a hard grip, squeezing it firmly, ripping open old wounds. But they were in a public place, he reminded himself. This was no place to show feelings like that.

 “She-.. She committed suicide when she was our age – a senior in high school. She was smart - brilliant, in fact. Extremely pretty and popular too. She was at the top of her classes and she was adamant on going to Harvard.” Sebastian swallowed slowly.

Memories of a girl with wavy brown hair and sparkling green eyes came to his mind. She had a big smile on her face and was looking at Sebastian with love in her eyes. “No one knows what happened. One day she just.. There was no note, no goodbyes. Her friends were as startled as we were. Startled is probably not the right word to use. Devastated..” Sebastian picked on his fingernails to have something to focus on. He didn’t want to look up to see Kurt’s expression. He didn’t want to see the look in his eyes. He guessed that he would find pity there. He didn’t want Kurt’s pity. He just wanted to tell him.

“Sebastian.. That’s..” Kurt stopped himself. What was he supposed to say? That it is horrible? Sebastian already knew that. That he was sorry? That sounded too empty and impersonal. Sebastian didn’t want formalities. If anything he wanted Kurt to be the one “If I may ask.. How did she die?”

Sebastian forced himself to not look up. He didn’t know if he could continue if he looked at Kurt’s beautiful blue eyes. He guessed that they would look like the vast ocean right now and it would be too easy for him to drown in it.

“We don’t know where she got them, but she overdosed on painkillers. The strong ones with codeine in them that you get on prescription.” His voice was cold and detached. He didn’t want to think of her as the lifeless, pale body he saw. No, he wanted to remember the smiles, the trips to the beach, the cakes they made together that Sebastian would screw up every time. “I found her on the bathroom floor. I was thirteen,” he added in a soft voice.

Kurt gasped and he felt something warm over his hand. Kurt’s hand was over his, squeezing softly. Sebastian didn’t need to look up to understand what that gesture meant and he appreciated the comfort.

There, he had said it. But that wasn’t the story about Gabrielle he wanted to tell. He wanted to talk about the good times, the jokes they shared, about how he adored her above everything else in the world.

“I used to call her Ariel,” he revealed, looking up for the first time. Kurt’s eyes were filled with sympathy, a look he had never seen before. He used a few seconds to commit the look to his memory so that he could recognise it another time.

Kurt nodded softly, as though he understood what Sebastian needed. “Like the mermaid?” Kurt asked tentatively, afraid that he was overstepping.

Sebastian nodded in return and the tiniest of smiles was visible on his lips.

“Yeah, that’s exactly why. I would put on a made-up Jamaican accent that sounded absolutely horrible, for the record, and she would pretend to be a mermaid with long, wavy red hair.” Something in Sebastian’s eyes danced, like a flicker of light. Of life. And Kurt couldn’t help but stare. Why did this version of Sebastian come from? The boy he met months ago certainly wasn’t this sweet. Or sweet was probably the wrong word to use to describe Sebastian. Real was the word Kurt was looking for. Suddenly Sebastian felt like a real person, and not like a character in a book.

“We used to go to the beach and she always made the most beautiful sand castles. I tried to make some as well, but I wasn’t good with my hands. Sometimes I got mad because her castles were nicer than mine so I would pretend to accidently fall on them,” Sebastian admitted and Kurt couldn’t help but chuckle.

“I wish I could have met her,” Kurt said in a soft voice and squeezed Sebastian’s hand harder. This time Sebastian didn’t call him out on trying to suffocate him or accuse him for thinking that they were in a relationship. No, they were just two friends in a coffee shop talking about difficult things. As much as Sebastian wanted this to feel normal, there was absolutely nothing normal about him talking to Kurt Hummel about these stuff. But sometimes you had to live on the wild side and take chances.

“She probably would have adored you. She would have doted on you and tried to tie ribbons in your hair,” Sebastian snickered, finding it surprisingly easy to talk about this. His shrinks and his parents often talked about the negative things, about how hard it must have been for him to find her dead, about how empty life was without her. But he realised that what he really needed was to remember the good things, share the fantastic moments that he would never forget, no matter how hard he had tried to do so.

Kurt dared to smile teasingly. “Are you telling me that there is photo proof that you have had ribbons in your hair?”

Sebastian let go of Kurt’s hand and shook his head with a smile. “What do you think of me? I burned them all a long time ago”

Kurt took back his hand and placed it on his lap.
“You know, I lost my mother when I was eight,” he admitted, looking into Sebastian’s eyes where he begged for understanding. A part of him almost expected Sebastian to sneer and write it off as a non-existent problem, or for him to make fun of him. That was the Sebastian he used to know. This Sebastian was still so new and confusing and he didn’t know when it was going to blow up in his face.

To his surprise Sebastian offered a comforting smile.
“Are you telling me that there are photos of a 7 year old Kurt Hummel with ribbons in his hair?” he shot back without hesitation.

They didn’t know how long they spent there but when they looked out of the window when the conversation started to wane, it was already dark. Sebastian felt lighter, as though he had put down a huge weight he was carrying. Kurt had a lot on his mind to process, this whole new Sebastian to get to know. They said goodbye and Sebastian said that he would send Kurt a sext later that night. Jokingly Kurt encouraged him.

They drove in opposite directions, but only when Sebastian parked his car outside his house did he feel something wet around his eyes and suddenly, just like that he started crying for the first time since his sister’s funeral.

AN: So here’s me hoping that I didn’t fuck it up completely. Cheers!

Reviews are love. 
Part 6

The Boys of Summer [3/7]: The Lemon Balm Leaves

AN: Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoy it.  

Title: The Boys of Summer
Author: MoreThanTonight
Fandom: Glee
Paring: Kurt/Sebastian
Rating: M
Summary: A camera. A jacket pin. A phone. Lemon balm leaves. A bottle cap. A box of condoms. A bottle of sleeping pills. Not necessarily in that order. On one of the last days of summer before college, Sebastian thinks about the most eventful summer of his life and the items related to it. Each one of the seven items tells a story about two boys that summer and how they came closer. It is a story about friendship, love and overcoming obstacles. Kurtbastian.

Chapter three – The lemon balm leaves

The smell of brisk lemon filled the air and Sebastian lifted the mug to his mouth. He didn’t take a sip or even place his lips on the hot brim of the cup. Instead he took a deep breath and just inhaled the scent. A little sour, but sweet at the same time. It reminded him of the smell of lemon, but it wasn’t as bitter or repelling. Unlike the yellow fruit that had a sour and bitter smell, the green leaves swimming in his cup were inviting. It brought make a wave of memories that crashed against him like waves hitting the shore. Slowly the waves came back to where they belonged, over and over again, before they hastily retreated. Sebastian didn’t know whether he wanted these memories back. Some of them were nice and spoke of long night perched on the bed with nothing between him and the beautiful boy, while others spoke of slamming doors and shouted words. Surprisingly, the memories of disagreement and discord were the ones that were easiest to remember. They didn’t hurt as much. His heart didn’t beat as fast when he thought about them. But still the ever-present twinge in his heart was still there and no matter what he did to make it go away, he couldn’t. It was as though someone had stuck a knife there and forgotten to take it away.

Instead of fighting against it, he held the cup closer and let the warm scent filled him with memories. Sebastian could remember how Kurt’s torso looked like in the moonlight that night. The night where a seed of friendship was planted and they had actually been civil to each other. Who had known that it was possible? Another sniff. Sebastian remembered how his hand slowly slid around Kurt’s slender waist as he waited for the boy to pull away… but he never did. Another sniff. He could remember the taste of Kurt’s skin; salty from sweat and a slightly bitter from the residue of the cologne he used.

The tip of Sebastian’s nose was almost touching the lukewarm water as he tried to get as close as possible to the scent. He remembered the way Kurt’s mussed hair looked like when the clock striked three am and they were still awake. They weren’t having sex. They were just laying there, enjoying each others presence. The scent of lemon balm was still lingering on Kurt’s fingers and all though Sebastian didn’t realise it just then, that scent would be the thing he would come to associate with that night. The first night where a sober Kurt slept over willingly. It changed the dynamics of their non-relationship, but both of them were too dazzled to realise it. That night would change them forever, but it wasn’t one of those memories of slamming doors that he could easily relive. No, this one was the type that twisted the knife inside of Sebastian’s heart until he buckled over on the floor in pain. And still it wouldn’t stop. It was a beautiful memory, one of those that Sebastian didn’t need right now. Just when he was about the breach the water skin, he set down the mug on the floor.  Closure, he thought. That was what he needed. And if it meant that he would have to remember that night once again, he would. Maybe it was a sadistic part of him that secretly wanted to remember. To think of the things that have been and dwell in them for a second or two before he could think of the things that would be. Somewhere in the future where things are easier.

In a mesmerized haze, Sebastian snapped off a few leaves from the lemon balm plant and rubbed the leaves between his thumb and his forefinger, just the way Kurt had done that night. The strong scent hit his nostrils straight away, and he fell back on the bed. His head landed on the soft pillow and Sebastian raised the leaves to his nose to smell them one more time. Relive the memory one more time. Before he let it go forever, he promised himself.


“People used them to get rid of unwanted pregnancies,” Sebastian said out of the blue, his voice as soft as the warm, mild breeze outside. The two boys were standing on the balcony that was attached to Sebastian’s bedroom. It wasn’t big, but there was more than enough space for two boys to lean against the black, metal railing that was inspired by early Victorian times. The were a few plants on the sill, but the plant in question was a little curious plant called lemon balm with sturdy green leaves and no flowers that day. The plant had caught Kurt’s attention because of the distinctive smell and although Sebastian didn’t understand the fascination with the plant, he humoured the other with information. Sebastian himself found himself distracted by something else, something quite divine that he had stopped trying to understand. Instead he just admired its beauty.

The glow from the moon basked them both in an ethereal light. Kurt had a white towel around his waist that clinged to his form, and only that. Sebastian stood right behind Kurt and didn’t bother with a towel. He had nothing to hide, not from Kurt and he was lucky enough to have his balcony on the other side of the house, away from prying neighbours. He had nothing to hide from Kurt and he wished that Kurt wouldn’t feel the need to hide from him because the towel that was placed snugly around his hips didn’t do anything to show off that perfect little ass that Sebastian had taken a liking to lately. It had nothing to do with the fragile intimacy of the situation they were in, he told himself. Kurt just had a nice ass.

“Did it work?” Kurt asked, his eyes transfixed on the full moon above them, though his attention was still on the stupid plant. Sebastian couldn’t take his eyes off the light bouncing off Kurt’s pale chest, and repressed a soft chuckle, afraid to pierce the bubble of silence around them.

“I don’t know. I have never been a pregnant woman in the Middle Ages.” He joked lightly, wrapping an arm around Kurt’s waist. The towel felt rough against his arms, a prominent contrast to Kurt’s soft skin. He had to bathe in moisturiser, Sebastian thought.

It was almost weird how natural it felt to be around Kurt, the boy whom he didn’t have anything in common with only a few weeks ago, except that they both wanted Kurt’s boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend, Sebastian’s mind reminded him. The topic of Blaine never came up after the first time at Scandals, and Sebastian didn’t pry. He understood that Blaine was the one who had broken up with Kurt and that was the reason Kurt was there at Scandals the first night, but he didn’t want to know more. And surprisingly, the thought of Blaine Anderson didn’t cross his mind at all lately.

The chapter of Kurt Hummel started untraditionally and completely unforeseen. In movies there was term called meet cute where the hero and the heroine meet for the first time, often associated with something nauseatingly romantic or fluffy. However, the chapter of how Sebastian Smythe met Kurt Hummel was far from fluffy or romantic. But then again, this wasn’t a story about a knight in shining armour who saves the princess from the dragon either. It was a story about two boys and the summer that would change their lives forever.

“Maybe I was a pregnant woman in a previous life,” Sebastian’s joking voice chased away the silence between them. Kurt tilted his head and his eyes left the moon to look at Sebastian instead. The taller boy could see that Kurt’s eyes were dark blue in the night and there was something electrifying about them.

“I don’t believe in reincarnation. Or god,” Kurt replied conversationally.

“What do you think happens when we die?” Sebastian asked, intrigued by Kurt’s thoughts on existential questions. It wasn’t something he thought about often, but he was brought up in a Christian family with parents whom believed even though their son was gay. They never saw a contradiction between having a faith and loving a son who loved differently from the most. Besides, he wanted to keep Kurt’s eyes on him for jut a little longer.

“I think we die, and then.. nothing” Kurt’s voice was serious and Sebastian was reminded of the first time he met the boy. The beginning of the chapter of Kurt Hummel, not a meet cute but the ultimate unforeseeable clash of fire and water.

It was coincidental. Blaine Anderson was a legend at Dalton, and just like every other legend it had an aura of mystique around it that was more interesting than the subject of the legend. Sometimes the idea of a person is enough. The mass hysteria around Blaine planted an image in Sebastian’s mind of a young gentleman who was seemingly innocent. He had seen pictures, of course, and it was an undeniable fact that the curly-haired boy was hot. And Sebastian was just a little too late to witness the great Blaine Anderson in action. The Warblers talked so much about the former lead singer than it was in the borderline of annoying, but Sebastian’s interest didn’t actually come forth until he heard that the boy was gay. So naturally when Blaine came back to Dalton, he tried to talk to him. An attempt that proved to be highly successful.

What the other Warblers had forgotten to tell him was the phenomenon that made Blaine transfer; a boyfriend. Jokingly, he told Blaine that it wasn’t a matter for him. Why would he care? If Blaine chose to be unfaithful, it was Blaine and the boyfriend’s problem, not his. He never sighed up for moral obligations.

And then Kurt Hummel came into his life. Awkward, gay-faced, high-pitched voice like a girl and clothes that would have belonged on a Parisian runway for women’s fashion. Sebastian swiftly placed Kurt in an ‘irrelevant person’ category immediately. But he hadn’t foreseen the words that would come out of Kurt’s mouth, or the fire in his eyes. The way Kurt protected Blaine and showed a possessive side of him that made Sebastian want to hit all the right buttons just to see him like that. Blaine was forgotten and reduced to just a means to talk to Blaine, but part of the act was to not let Kurt know. Suddenly it became a game. Who could get the last word? The dance between fire and water started. Even before they knew that it was a contest or what the premises were, Sebastian decided that he would win. What he didn’t know was that water always overpowers even the fiercest fire.

“Yes, you die and the nothing happens. Your body rots and turns into dust.” Kurt’s voice broke through the cocoon of silence. Sebastian was suddenly aware that his arm was still around Kurt’s waist, but the other boy didn’t seem to fight against it. If anything, Kurt came a little closer, leaning into the touch.

“That sounds boring.” Sebastian commented.

            “Would you rather prefer that we ended in heaven or hell?” Kurt asked and there was a slight mocking edge to his voice.

            Sebastian chuckled and shook his head, followed by a slight shrug. He guessed that Kurt wasn’t big on religion. “I don’t know. I don’t think about it too much. I guess what happens after we die happens, and people waste too much time thinking about life after death.. while they could be thinking about here and now.” he explained as he looked at Kurt.

            Sometimes it felt as though they were more than just acquaintances. Kurt came over three or four times a week. They didn’t speak in between the times they met and it was always Kurt who came over. They never went out in public and Kurt never stayed the night. Sebastian thought that this thing they had, whatever it was, would end when his parents came back from their honeymoon, but the inevitable was postponed by a week as Mr. And Mrs. Smythe decided to enjoy the sun in Ibiza for an extra week. Kurt and Sebastian had been doing this for two weeks and Sebastian’s parents would be back within a week. Maybe they would stop then. But he didn’t want to think about their near future. He would rather think about the boy that was in his arms right now.

Sometimes they kissed, though it wasn’t out of love or adoration. Their kisses tasted of fascination and lust and the tingling feeling lasted on their tongues for days after. They didn’t cuddle, but sometimes Kurt would let Sebastian hold him. Maybe they could be called friends. Yes, friends sounded like a safe term.

            “So what you are saying is.. to screw tomorrow?” Kurt asked, a smile spreading on his lips.

            “I would rather screw you,” Sebastian’s reply came without hesitation and Kurt punched his arm playfully. “We fucked just fifteen minutes ago!”

            “That is fifteen minutes of unnecessary waiting” Sebastian countered easily.

            Kurt huffed audibly and rolled his eyes, though Sebastian couldn’t see it. He broke off a leaf from the plant and rubbed it between his thumb and forefinger before he raised it to his nose to smell. It reminded him of the transit between spring and summer. The brisk feeling of spring where everything was new and fresh, but it had a hint of the warm feeling of summer like the scorching sun above. He took a deep breath and let the scent of the plant fill his lungs before exhaling with a happy sigh. Sebastian looked at him with a curious expression, his eyebrows raised judgementally.

            “It smells good,” Kurt defended, wriggling out of Sebastian’s arms to turn around so that he could face the boy. “See for yourself.” Kurt broke off another leaf and handed it to Sebastian.

            Sebastian looked at the green leaf sceptically. It was just a plant that his mother bought because she thought his room needed some fresh colours. He had moved the plants to the balcony the same day. Kurt looked at him pointedly, so he rolled his eyes and gave the leaf a whiff. He felt utterly stupid doing so, but it put a smile on Kurt’s lips. “See? It smells good”

            Sebastian merely shrugged. “I guess”

            “It smells like fresh grass and warm summer’s breeze. And I-..” Kurt stopped when he saw Sebastian’s mocking expression and sighed exasperatedly. “Never mind. I’m speaking to deaf ears,” he said dramatically.

            It was times like these were Sebastian was sure that they were friends. When they actually talked. He thought about the latest hook-up he had last night when Kurt didn’t come over. He couldn’t even remember the blond, cute boy’s name. They hadn’t talked and Sebastian almost forgotten about him. He was certain that he had his number somewhere on a crumpled receipt, but he wasn’t interested in calling him back.

            “I vote for less talking and more fucking,” Sebastian grinned, though he didn’t really mean it. He liked talking to Kurt, but he knew that Kurt expected him to say things like that. They all did. And it was easier to let them see what they believed than to wander on unexplored territory.

            “Let’s go inside,” Kurt murmured and shivered on cue. Sebastian wanted to protest. He wanted to tell Kurt how beautiful he looked in the moonlight, but he couldn’t do that. Because Kurt would think that there was more than just friendship between them if he said something as inappropriate as that, and Sebastian was sure that he didn’t harbour any of those stupid feelings for Kurt Hummel. He merely appreciated beauty.

            So he shrugged once again and walked in. Kurt followed and closed the door to the balcony after him. They had been in Sebastian’s room since evening and it was just past midnight. The room was dark, as they hadn’t bothered to switch on the light when the sun went down. Sebastian briefly recalled that he had Kurt’s cock down his throat when the sun went down, causing the orange glow from the setting sun to shine on Kurt’s chest. He had paused for a few seconds to look at the view on Kurt’s torso, but the boy had whined impatiently and pushed his head back down.

            Somewhere before midnight Kurt had asked if it was okay for them to go out and look at the full moon. And now the clock on Sebastian’s wall showed 12:15 and he expected Kurt to throw his clothes on and leave in his black Navigator the way he always did. But he didn’t.

            Instead he made sure that the towel was still fastened around his waist and sat down on the edge of the bed. Sebastian looked at the other boy and for a short moment it seemed as though Kurt was struggling with himself. He was having an internal debate and it made Sebastian frown that he didn’t know what it was about.

            “Is something wrong” he asked, frowning at Kurt’s direction. Kurt looked hesitant as first, but after a while he shook his head slowly. “No, nothing.” He was lying, of course, Sebastian deduced. But he couldn’t see why he was lying. Sebastian decided to let it slide. He didn’t want a confrontation unless it was of outmost importance.

Finally he was sick of Kurt acting weird and went over to straddle him. Kurt tilted backwards and supported himself on his arms. He was snapped away from his thoughts and look up at Sebastian who was barely taller than him. Sebastian leaned forward and grazed his teeth over Kurt’s earlobe, drawing a soft moan from the back of Kurt’s throat. With a wicked grin he licked his lips and attached them near Kurt’s jugular vein. The unspoken rule forbade him from leaving any marks or hickeys, but he sucked lightly on the skin there before his tongue darted out to lick over the spot. “Seb..” Kurt moaned, his mouth half open. The sound sent blood rushing towards Sebastian’s groin and he felt himself grow harder by the second. Gently, he rubbed himself against Kurt’s stomach to let the other know about the presence of his unclothed erection. For the second time that night, he wished that Kurt was brave enough to let the towel slip.

            “You in for another round before you leave?” Sebastian whispered, lust clear in his voice. Desire clouded his eyes as he looked into Kurt’s brilliant blue orbs. Kurt’s eyes were dull in the faint light and Sebastian recognised something that looked like hesitation and confusion there.

            “Can I stay the night?” Kurt asked. The words were out of his mouth before either one of them was aware of it, but what was said couldn’t be reversed. Sebastian was caught completely off-guard. He hadn’t expected Kurt to want to stay the night, not when the boy always left. Kurt himself looked unsure as of why he had asked to stay. The seconds ticked past in a deadly quiet fashion and it became painfully obvious that Sebastian hadn’t answered. Finally he cleared his throat and shrugged. “Yeah sure, why not?” His other hook-ups stayed the night sometimes, when it was too late to drive, and he never bothered when they wanted to, so why should he care that Kurt asked? Oh right, because this was the boy that casually left him after using him for hot, drunken sex.

            Kurt breathed out slowly, but it was obvious that he was relieved. The fear of rejection seared in this cheeks that had turned a faint hue of pink, but it was too dark to notice the difference. The mood was dampened and none of them dared to lean in for a kiss. They were both afraid of the meaning it would hold and the doubt of intimacy made them instinctively steer away. Kurt was the first one to pull away and he shoved Sebastian off his lap. The latter quietly lay down on the bed beside Kurt with his legs dangling off the edge.

            “You can tell me if you don’t want me here” Kurt said defensively, his head high in the air. Sebastian shook his head casually. He tried not to read too much in it. Kurt was probably tired and didn’t want to drive home this late. It was completely understandable. “It’s fine. I just.. didn’t expect you to. I had the impression that you wanted this to be as little complicated as possible”

            “I did! I do..” Kurt wanted to hit himself for being so little eloquent. He straightened himself up and tried again. “I do want this to be uncomplicated, but my dad is asking me where I disappear to all the time and he is a little more than curious of why I come home late when I disappear. For obvious reasons, I don’t want to tell him that I’m screwing the boy who used to be after my ex-boyfriend,” he explained, crossing his legs on the bed. Sebastian simply nodded and placed his hands behind his head. Why did it bother him that Kurt wanted to sleep over? It shouldn’t. He was just being stupid.

            “You never told me why you and Blaine broke it off,” he said matter-of-factually. It wasn’t an accusation or a demand; he was simply pointing it out as a curiosity. A distraction. “I didn’t think you would be interested,” Kurt countered, his tone still defensive and stiff.

            Sebastian shrugged lightly. “Like you said, I’m the boy who used to be after your ex-boyfriend, aren’t I?”

            Kurt looked torn between keeping it a secret and telling Sebastian, but he figured that it couldn’t hurt. After all, the internet sites said that talking about it was a good way to get over it. That was why he was here, wasn’t it? To get over Blaine, to prove that he could be without the boy. A nagging voice in the back of Kurt’s mind told him that he was there because he couldn’t be without intimacy or comfort, no matter what form it came in.

            “Blaine and I..” Kurt started, but stopped himself. No, it wasn’t something Blaine and him decided. It had been Blaine’s decision entirely. He wanted to make it work, at least give it a try. “Blaine decided that a long-distance relationship wouldn’t work.” Kurt’s voice was like sandpaper and even Sebastian could hear how detached the boy sounded, just like the night at Scandals where it all began. He realised that Kurt was taking it harder than he thought he was. He still wasn’t over Blaine. And the thought of it left a bitter aftertaste in his mouth. Sebastian swallowed hard to wash the taste away, but it remained. “He said that there would be so many hot, gay boys in college and he wanted to save me the pain of being unfaithful to him,” Kurt huffed and it was clear to see that Kurt couldn’t believe that Blaine would think something like that about him. As if Kurt would ever do something like that to him. “He also said that he didn’t want to spend his senior year pining after me..” It was obvious to see that Kurt truly believed the latter explanation to be the real reason Blaine broke up with him.

            Sebastian felt as though he should say something, because that was what friends did, right? “You are better off without him,” he said with a shrug. He wasn’t the one for relationships, seeing how he had never been in a serious relationship his entire life.

            Kurt looked at him as though he had lost his mind. The intensity from his glare made Sebastian want to look away, but instead he just stared dumbly back. “Think about it,” Sebastian defended. “You are going to New York with all the fancy gay bars and the hottest gay men you can imagine. You don’t want to have a boyfriend tying you down from that, do you?” he realised that he was preaching about his life style. Kurt rolled his eyes and laid down beside the taller male, on the pillow next to him. His eyes were fixed on the ceiling and Sebastian had the feeling that Kurt was avoiding looking at him.

            “Not everyone wants to life their live with a new random stranger every night,” he said in a soft voice, more to himself than to Sebastian.

            The conversation was getting more and more out of hand, Sebastian decided and it was partially his fault for letting it go this far. He should have stopped the sappy talk even before it started. So he turned over to face Kurt and cupped his cheek, pulling Kurt’s face towards him before he claimed Kurt’s lips with his own. The kiss wasn’t possessive, but forceful. He wanted to distract Kurt from thoughts of Blaine because it wasn’t Blaine he was with. It was him and Sebastian had every intention of letting him know that. Kurt kissed him back, hesitantly at first but after a while he joined in with as much passion. He moaned into the kiss, making Sebastian to groan from the back of his throat and roll their hips together. Kurt became very aware that Sebastian was still naked, and when he slid his hands down the taller boy’s back, he stopped at Sebastian’s ass and squeezed gently.

            Somehow, making this about sex made it simpler. He expected Sebastian to take the hint and take it further, but the boy seemed content with just kissing him passionately. Kurt couldn’t help but notice that Sebastian’s kisses were so different from Blaine. Blaine’s had been soft, sweet and they made him feel loved. Sebastian’s were rough, lustful and made him feel wanted. And right now he didn’t want to feel loved. He wanted to feel wanted. He wanted to know that someone desired him even though he didn’t have love in his life anymore.

            They stayed like that for awhile, kissing, nipping at lips, sighing and moaning against each other and rubbing their erections against each other before Kurt pulled away, not wanting to come from just frottage – not when he knew how good Sebastian’s mouth could feel. This was the thing about Sebastian, as opposed to Blaine. Even though he trusted Blaine and loved him more than he loved himself, he was always so set on making it pleasurable for Blaine that he seldom asked for sexual favours for himself. And Blaine didn’t like to go down on him. Sebastian, on the other hand, he had no moral obligations to and he also sucked dick like a champion. God knows how many years of training he had.

            “Suck me off… Please” Kurt added with a soft whimper when Sebastian rubbed against him again. He was glad for the towel between them or he wouldn’t have been able to last this long.

            Sebastian didn’t know what it was, but he couldn’t deny Kurt anything when the boy’s eyes were lust blown and sounds like those escaped his pink, kiss-swollen lips. Without replying, he placed fluttering kisses down Kurt’s jawline, down his neck, his chest after licking around both of Kurt’s pink nipples. He dipped his tongue over Kurt’s navel, drawing a short gasp from the boy before placing kisses down his barely noticeable happy trail, stopping when he bumped against Kurt’s towel. He undid the towel with a hand, exposing Kurt in all his glory.

            Sebastian bit back a lusty groan and ducked his head to take Kurt’s erection in his mouth. Kurt threw his head back on the pillow and groaned, his fingers knotting into Sebastian’s hand. Sebastian smirked and flicked his tongue over the head of the cock before bobbing down, taking the entire length in his mouth. Thanks to practice, he had little to no gag reflex and in no time had Kurt’s entire cock down his throat. Kurt bucked his hips and he took that as a cue to start moving. With perfected technique, he alternated between kitten soft licks to the sensitive, pre-cum leaking head and long sucks down the shaft. Kurt was writhing underneath him and he could hear small moans and whimpers coming from the boy, and a string of incoherent words such as, More, Oh god, Sebastian. That feels so good, Yeah. Fuck yeah! Right there and the one he liked best, Yes! Yes! Yes! OhmygodYES! I’m almost there..!

            Needless to say, Sebastian took that as an incentive to keep going and bobbed his head up and down as he wrapped his fingers around Kurt’s shaft to jerk him off simultaneously. He kept going through muttered curse words and cries, whimpers and moans until he heard Kurt emit a long moan, and he felt warm liquid fill his mouth. Sebastian lapped it up and swallowed dutifully. A stripe of cum was trailing down Kurt’s stomach and Sebastian shot the boy a mischievous look before he lapped it up. He licked it slowly with his tongue and casually bumped against Kurt’s oversensitive cock, making him buck his hips and let out a startled moan.

When he was done, Sebastian slumped down beside Kurt and saw that the other’s eyes were half-closed. The only problem was that Sebastian was hard now and the problem was starting to be annoyingly painful. “Kuuuurt..” he muttered, and Kurt opened an eye questioningly.

      Sebastian rolled to his side and poked Kurt’s hip with the tip of his erection, smearing a few drops of pre-cum there. Kurt’s eyes snapped open as he glared at the other with undiluted irritation. “You are killing my buzz,” he snapped and Sebastian chuckled. “I need you to do something about my problem”

Kurt looked between Sebastian’s eyes and his cock as though he was trying to determine whether he was going to do it or not. After a few seconds, he sighed and lowered himself down so that his head was near Sebastian’s erection. He didn’t do this frequently, and he was not nearly as experienced as Sebastian, but he decided to give it a try. Kurt thought the strong smell would be gross, but to his surprise it was rather inviting. It smelt manly and strong, and there was something entirely Sebastian there. Despite everything, he couldn’t deny that Sebastian was very attractive, at least physically. He took a deep breath and tentatively took his cock in his mouth. Sebastian was so hard and leaking pre-cum like mad, all the tension had brought him so close to the edge, but he wasn’t there quite yet. But he was close.

Kurt licked up the shaft experimentally and it took Sebastian all he had to not jerk up into Kurt’s mouth. He moaned softly, placing a hand on Kurt’s neck, caressing him softly. “God yes.. Kurt..” he moaned as Kurt sucked on the tip. The sounds he made seemed to boost Kurt’s confidence and he started licking and sucking more steadily. This time Sebastian couldn’t restrain himself and bucked up into Kurt’s mouth, taking Kurt by surprise. The pale boy’s eyes widened and he started sputtering and coughing. Sebastian sat up and wanted to hit himself. He had been so close, and then he had to go on and scare Kurt like that. “Are you okay?” he asked, his voice a little whiny.

Kurt hit himself on the chest a few times and nodded. His eyes were a little watery from the shock, but he lowered himself down again, refusing to be fazed by something like that. “I’m fine. Now lay down and take it,” he said in a hoarse voice and Sebastian looked at him in awe as he lay down again. The boy resumed licking on Sebastian’s sensitive head and soon the mistake was forgotten as Sebastian emitted a series of moans before he came hard down Kurt’s throat without a warning.

Kurt mewled and pulled away. Some of the warm liquid went down his throat, but he wasn’t used to the taste of it. He realised that it would be even more awkward if he spat it out, so he braced himself and swallowed the rest, cringing from the rubbery taste. He wiped the corners of his mouth and looked down at Sebastian who had a blissful look on his face. Kurt sighed and laid down beside him again.

Still a little dazed from the orgasm, Sebastian put an arm around Kurt and pulled him closer. Kurt turned to the side to face him and smiled a little. “How did I do?” he asked. Sebastian’s lips curled up in a cute smile. “Magnificently.” It was one of the few times Sebastian ever complimented him directly without any snark or sarcasm.

They stayed like that for a while and both of them lost track of the time. It could have been hours and it probably was. Kurt didn’t bother covering himself up this time, and neither did Sebastian. They didn’t say anything, but it wasn’t an uncomfortable silence. They listened to each other’s heartbeats and exchanged post-orgasmic smiles. They didn’t even touch until Sebastian raised his head to mess up Kurt’s hair and Kurt swatted his hand away, not before he managed to fluff it up, though. Sebastian chuckled and even Kurt laughed a little. In the corner of his vision, Sebastian saw that it was three am.

He kissed Kurt softly on the lips, not thinking about the implications and pulled the cover over them both. For the first time in his life, he slept with Kurt Hummel in his arms.

Part 4